Let's hit restart all over again.

I kinda have a lot to say so I'm on my phone (my tiny iPhone 5) writing this out. Good thing Apple has got quite a remarkable predictive language build in. This will explain the lack of typos in this entry here but anyway!

You know I just returned from Bali right? Right. I had a helluva great time and couldn't remember when was the last time I did. So yes! I had a great time holiday making in Bali and damn I love the laid back vibe of it. Though it was helluva short, 3D2N, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. So I came back to Singapore on Sunday.

Now this is where the twist of fate comes in and bit me in my ass. I think because I went out to the beach on Saturday, I started to develop really itchy and bad rashes all over my body. They come and go and Carl assured me that they will go away eventually. Unbeknownst to me, Sunday turned out to be a terrible day where the itch was unbearable that when I was having massage, I kinda felt my massueue was tickling me instead.

So I came back to Singapore on Sunday evening thinking they will go away eventually as really, this is my fucking first time having sand rash. On Monday morning, it didn't go away. So I had rashes all over my body that is really uncontrollably itching the shit out of me. I had to see the doctor for relief I know. So I called in work sick. Taboo right? MC right after a holiday? Please, if it's your body having all the rashes I bet you won't even want to leave your house without wearing a brown lunch bag over your head. I went to the panel of GP that my work recommends and the doctor merely gave me oral medication for relief and what I call, temporary tripping sensation that is sleep inducing. Why didn't he give me some cream to apply? I have no fucking idea. Maybe because the rash had subsided a little but really I highly doubt the case because I went to my family doctor just today and he gave me Elomet cream and which the entire consultation turned out to be 60 bucks! So I concluded that the GP I went to yesterday was just stingy.

So who's to blame that I couldn't recover in time? That GP no fucking doubt.

But you know something? After this itch saga, I found out how unhappy I've been at my job for the longest period of time. Persevering all this while, I couldn't help but to type out my resignation letter this afternoon. You may call me rash (hahaha! The irony) but seriously, a couple of red flags were raised just because I'm covered in rashes after I returned from my Bali trip. I didn't choose to be a monkey I repeat.

For the longest time, I had thought I had the perfect job around. I really did try to hoodwink myself into believing I did. But no, just today, I finally was able to pin point what's wrong in my current placement. Firstly, there had been no propped training and i really feel that I have been misinformed of what my role entails. Since the beginning, there had never been a proper flow or standard way to do things. Most of the time I feel I was just a headless chicken trying to find my answer, in hope I'll seek enlightenment. Which, you guessed it, most of the time I don't get things done right. How am I supposed to when I wasn't given a clear set of SOPs or instructions to follow through? And when I didn't get things done right, I have been bestowed the feeling of being penalised (note that I am only barely four months old at the job and I was entrusted to deal with a lot of business as usual stuff as well as being actively involved in the rolling out of new initiatives and projects). Why is it my fault then?

In addition, I came to a conclusion that I am not a right cultural fit for the organization. It's never easy to work for a local company for me. I should have learned this aeons ago. Wait a minute, I've worked in local companies before and I didn't feel I wasn't a good fit? Ok, whatever. Let's just say I'm not living up to expectations and I am certainly not a right fit for the company.

I quit.