Another.

Another one down. 3 from my graduating primary school class are married. A lot more are engaged. Thank God, none invited me. Thank God, those whom I still talk to are still fooling around and no one wants to marry em (Yes you!). Is it me? Or is it everyone else? Why do I feel a mixture of envy and "LOLs" when I see every one of em getting hitched?

Envy? Well because I think I will look so much hotter with professional make up and I envy them for wearing nice pretty gowns! /mews "LOLs" because, I guess we will be missing out a lot after marriage. God! Seeing the same face everyday (imagine if it's Shrek you married) is just not going to do anything better to the relationship. Aye? And how are you supposed to know that him/her is just going to be the one? Imagine going through individual transitions, how sure are we to know whether he/she would still be around?

What's with the banquet? Isn't it more than a chore to be throwing such massive event? Half of the guests who turn up are ones whom you barely speak to in years? And maybe most of them are ones you've never spoken to in your entire life. Then what joy could you possibly share? How happy do they actually feel for you? Talk about hypocrisy. I would rather book zouk and have my granny break dance at phuture. With this kinda money throwing a banquet could cost, I can own a Birkin seriously. What's more important than having a Hermes?

The thought of having to wake up at 4am is so terrifying. I would rather club or dota till 4am. Shittish. How am I going to survive this kinda long day with the so called adrenalin rush? Can a bride actually yawns when she's on the stage cutting the wedding cake? I might need triple shots of expresso injected into me every hour.

Why do you guys want to get married in this kinda conventional manner anyway?

By asking the groom to wear female G string on his head when he comes over to get the bride, is not going to make it anywhere special or interesting. Do I get myself clear? Whatever shit tricks the typical 'sisters' can come up with, at the end of the day, he still gets her. Someone tell me one groom had actually died from drinking the potent mixture of flaming cokewasabichrysathemumvodkamilo?

Don't get me wrong. I would love to be married. I would beg to have someone who's so mine to spend the rest of my life with. My wedding is going to be a very quiet event with only ones whom I am sure I speak to, I've spoken to, and I know who he/she exactly is. There's a reason why we call it a matrimonial union and not a matrimonial orgy. A backdrop of the setting sun, a pastor (in God's place), my family and close friends, me and mine.

Use the money, go to France, Paris, Milan and get a birkin. Really. And a Cartier for wedding band.

Yeah. I think the 24 hour drive through at Vegas best suits me.

An upside down apple tree,

half a butterfly.

queen fleur,

a phoenix,

and a snail with horns.

My gardenplay.