The Edge of Reason

The Edge of Reason: almost to a point of losing rationality.

I used to be able to do things which could temporarily rev myself to the state of ecstasy, strong enough to plant a smile on the face or to muster up some laughter, whether sensible or senseless. Of latter days, these no longer excite anymore. That is to say, I have been asleep even when I am not.

Does this normally come with age? Why is that I don't see anyone around me going through the same phase too? I am sadistic/masochistic with myself that I am destructing everything that is supposedly good for me. And guess what? I sort of enjoy it.

I am equally confused as a migrating bird that has fallen out of the flock, soaring directionless in the skies panicking, not wanting to freeze to death and yet, has no idea on how to get to the south. Ten new books on the bookshelf left unread and a dying soul fighting to get back what it has lost. I am no longer a happy girl.

Blame it on romantic movies and insanely in love couples which and whom have the amazing (almost magical) abilities to make anyone feel a tad less secured and a hefty lot lonelier. What are you drinking tonight? A whiskey dry for a heavy week or a martini for a lighter one?

How do people continuously do what they like and not get bored?