Crossroad

From the way this post is titled, I'm sure you with a good sense there, would have guessed that this post is about Boyz II Men's End of the Road song.

Nah, I'm kidding.

So in less than four months (that's right, not even half a year) I have once again met ANOTHER crossroad in my career. Which is pretty unlucky if you asked me but this is what I have to say...

FUCK.

Here's the story, I joined a local small start-up (even smaller than the one before the publishing big boy) and the deal was that I will be made a digital marketing pro in three months as they scale up in operations and blah blah in the later half of the year. Which I naively believe because I genuinely believe in the company and gave away 80% of my skepticism when I decided to put my signature down on the employment contract.

But wow, these past three months have been quite an eye-opener. As with any local startup, I went in with the mentality that I'm supposed to take on more than what I should and I was ready and up for it. But sadly, after about a month, I began to question whether there was any mentorship in place, training that was clearly fallen short of (I honestly didn't get briefed on the entire business strategy, operations and blah blah at all) and the existence of the light at the end of the tunnel.

In essence -- that's to say -- in about a month's time, I began to question myself and also, my initial judgement. Upon noticing this, I began walking into work every day with contempt and didn't actually look forward to it any more. Surprise, surprise. Just after one month.

But I sucked it up, and decided that I should be MORE proactive and take MORE initiative. So I requested for, an one-month check-in, a two-month check-in, weekly meetings with my boss and the rest of the team members, and also the department which I was supposedly to be working very closely with.

UNFORTUNATELY FOR ME, when end of September should have been my confirmation, I was asked to leave because:

1. They need someone with more experience who could act as the right brain of the team
2. My boss said it's not his capacity any more to train me
3. He said it's his failure

DAMN RIGHT IT IS.

Because I reckon I have:

1. Been honest about my lack of experience when I went for the interviews
2. Taken MORE initiative than anyone could have and determine my OWN JD, role, and responsibility
3. Requested for check-ins so as to find out about my progress and whether I've been measuring up to my expectations
4. Chaired meetings so as to promote transparency among the team

One thing here which I must mention is that maybe they find me a snob/stuck up/anti-social/introverted at work and I didn't fit in the culture. Because as I was weeping over this failed initial judgement of mine in front of my boss when he broke the news to me the other day, I asked him whether was there a possibility of me moving lateral across (for also formality's sake) and he answered no. This, I concluded that my existence in the co. wasn't welcomed at all and that they want to let me go completely.

Here's the story why I could have been portraying myself as a snob/stuck up/anti-social/introverted:

1. I am really bad at small talks
2. When I work, I work
3. Don't expect me to come to you with cookies cause I can't bake
4. I don't carry balls too

One thing for sure is that, in my previous employment, in all the roles that I had undertaken, NO ONE ever told me that I shouldn't pass my probation period. And let alone, ask me to leave.

On the contrary, I have always been receiving nothing but good appraisals from all my previous bosses. Just fucking ask.

ISIS: I SEE IT SUCKS

I would like to express my deepest condolence toward the families of the victims of the (shitty and absolutely lame) ISIS drama. You have my deepest sympathy. Your son, brother, husband or father didn't have to go through this way of passing. 

Those who are committing heinous crimes in the name of YOUR GOD, stop it. You're just plain evil and are using God's name to be evil. Just admit that you're plain downright evil and inhuman. Don't use God's name. Fuckers. 

Why hide behind masks anyway if you're so wanting the world to watch how you behead people? Those people you beheaded are decent people. The world doesn't need people like YOU. You're no different from Hitler except that he came out and faced the world without hiding behind masks. He had balls and you have none.

You're nothing but a speck of dust. Hitler made it to history but what will you become in the future? 

And to the number of people flying over just so you can be involved in terrorism in the name of God (I reiterate), you guys fit very well into the equation that I've done up for a segment of people that I have encountered a lot in my life:

IQ Less Than 100 = Easily Brainwashed

You're dumb cause you don't have a mind of your own because if you do, you wouldn't have been convinced to join in the terrorism demonstration.

If you wish to argue that you're not dumb, then you must be intelligent I believe? Like the female British medical student who flew all the way there just to behead someone and tweeted about it with a photo saying, "dream job, a terrorist doc"? Her Twitter account has been suspended so how smart can she be? I don't know if she's really a she (as she's hiding behind the costume) but I don't know any woman who has such an evil and warped heart. The only female who I've ever known to have such a bad personality was my late hamster who I named Nunu. She ate her babies.

To the British medial student who's reading this: I don't know why your parents spent that kind of money on you. If only they had spent that kind of money on my education, I will be your school principal and expel you from school. Or I'll be your rich classmate who will rally up a few mates to cyber bully you until you take your own life had I long known that you're going to partake in such activity and threw your entire life out the window. 

You're an absolute disgrace to the education system, women and the entire England. 

So if you're insisting that you're somewhat intelligent like the medical student and really think you haven't been brainwashed into joining terrorism, you must be plain evil.

You need to be ashamed of yourself. And think of cockroaches. They are better than you.