Sunday, July 4, 2021

Chrissy Thinks About Her Best Friend

Of everyone I've met, our chat history is the only one which I will never get rid of. Because I know we will never speak to each other again and so, they shall stay as our story which I can read from time to time. Remember in 2019 when we first met, we literally texted each other from the moment we wake to the moment we fell asleep--every minute and every second. The hiatus we had which was five months or so didn't quite 'distant' us. We continued to do the same shit from dawn through night like we were the only two souls on earth. For two years, we still haven't run out of topics to talk about, stupid shit to laugh together at. I laughed when I read that part where I had wanted to share with you Sarah Brightman's live performance of her section in POTO but pasted you the link to a McDonald's ad and said "She hit every single note". I realised the moment after I shared the link and asked, "Did I share McDonald's ad?" And you replied, "I was wondering how hard it is to hit 'ba da ba ba ba'. I laughed. I laughed and cried in fact. 

You did like me in 2019, this I know. You wanted us to become something more than friends. What changed your mind? I've always wanted to ask. What made you decide that you will always only see me as a friend when you knew that we are carbon copies of each other? 

I know I will never see you again in this life and we probably won't want to see each other anyway. I wanted to apologize for peace but I realised that it will take more than an apology to bring peace to ourselves this time round--even if we don't speak to each other anymore, an apology will not bring the peace that you and I had once shared. We have both betrayed each other. I dealt you where I knew was your weakest which you had entrusted me with, you dealt me by removing yourself, which you know is my weakness. 

No comments: