:)

A full stop and an open statement.

They say time flies in a twinkling of an eye. Perhaps we could blink our eyes a thousand times and see what God has in store for us.

I'll be there as soon as I am.

Wasted on Moet Chandon!

Thank you Lovelies for giving me such a glamourous au revoir mini bash.

Have fun in Singapore!

P/S Sorry Fish, I didn't snap any of your photos with my cell.

These days, instead of waking up to a beautiful smile greeted to me from me, I have to drag myself out of bed with the most dreadful thought of "one day down, one night on comfy bed cosy room gone". Partly because I have been so shagged out, I am packed to the brim of my windpipe and Time is holding me on chokehold. There are simply too much to see to, too many people to be seen with before a new phase begins. Oh God, I wish to be superwoman for the next 72 hours - to whizz to places I love in Singapore, to eat a tableful of local delicacies and not put on weight, to flung into the arms of those whose embrace I wish to be caught on camera, and I wish everyone is free to attend to me can? I am like going last minute pre overseas shopping alone later today. I need a speedy good ride, really.

I have never been away from home this long. Though technically speaking, I am still in Singapore, I can feel all jaded with loneliness right now. To whom would my absence be even significant to? I doubt I might even have a sound sleep for the next 365 days. Goodness? Now the figure seems all daunting. Hundreds! Either I come back tougher, or I may just fulfill my hara kiri fascination over at Macau. hah.

Okay. I am going comatose now. There's so much to be done by tomorrow.

Loves.to all.

And Faith.to me.

P/S Name for Purple Teddy?

P/S P/S LoveLetter.Bangingcock.Phuket.Langkawi.Monsoon '08.Especial 21st Birthday.

P/S P/S P/S A Nike pink sweater.

Just for Laughs!

Today's Lappie shopping exhausted the total coconuts outta me (refer to post below). I've gotten a Toshiba (Yes. They do manufacture notebooks as well) Portege instead of the intended Sony VAIO, mainly because of the free throw-in of the new iPod Nano? Lol.

I thought it should be momma's birthday countdown and I was asked to be at home to do some cake cutting, and now I am like all alone at home, with a imaginary cake and Placebo. *yawns Being stranded at home on a TGIF is like a OMFG. Placebo's new album is as disappointing as Resident Evil 3. I think every sequels to movies are bound to suck. Maybe it's more of us getting demanding... Hmm. Oh well, least there were some parts during the flick I was laughing. Not to mention, the company was heaven.

Ah! Shall watch South Park!

I am a dead lame 22 year old.

P/S Fish, I pretended to be a real music tard. =p

It's so barbie pink!

P/S I love you daddy!

[edit]

Goodbye Vaio.

Hello Portege.

Requiem.

I have been listening to alot of opera these days. I don't really wish to listen to any blabber by any artiste nor anyone. My shipment arrived from the US, and it gave me a good panic attack. First of all, I was excited when I was opening the postage. Then I delicately took the precious out and realised it's too small/short. I went shrieking on top of my lungs, and decided to check out some lappies online. Found Sony VAIO CR11GH and fell in love with the pink one. Now I am sounding like xiaxue. Hah. Okay, I know nuts about the specifications, because I am a very much useless girl. [And so, you might even be calling me an emotional weakling. It's a pity why I don't exist in the Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart age, nor the Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni age, nor the Charles Dickens age, nor Jesus Christ age. Because I am sure back then, emotions comes with complimentary promised success if you are willing to be nothing for life and be something afterlife. Afterall, that's what Music and Arts all about. That's what Christ has gotten which got him crucified] And I am waiting for my IT gadget materialistic bitch primary school friend to come online. I am yawning already. Whatever he says, I think I'm getting the lappie. It's so artificially pink. It's a pity it's in baby pink instead of shocking pink. Nonetheless, it's so artificial, so like mere mortals.

I began writing out my thoughts this afternoon again. I learnt from somewhere that it's a good practice to do so, for the more you bottle them inside, the chances of flipping soar, and because I could no longer hurt myself due to my expected departure for work, I would have to bring my journal around everywhere I go. And I realised, that the previous statement is quite a long one. So here goes this entry that I would like whoever is reading this to read.

If you ever had, or have been trying to carve me into somewhat like a mimic of yours, for, to appease your ambitious domineering greed, your inordinate fascination of your own self, I would have to erase 'me'. And make you believe I am your hypothetical, delusional 'me'. And then you'd be contented and most importantly, smiling. And then I can finally fuck 'myself' out of your life, and be 'me' in 'my' own life. So it would mean I have a handful of roles to play. Whoever you want me to be, you'd receive it. For I'd show you the most insincere gesture of not even being a sincere being. That's an insult, seriously.

The emotions and emptiness I feel for everything now or rather everyone now, clunk into one another like the Morse Code. Emptiness, and then dashes of emotions, then dots of nothing. I'll explain literally and quote a rather realistic example. Firstly, you blabbered something, "xxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxx". Then, second, I feel pain because you blabbered something about me, quite in my sense, quite inexcusable, which set my mind blank and off guarded because it didn't really expect such response. And sorry for you because it's a pity why narrow-mindedness seems to be clouding you at this very moment, or perhaps not, and then remain speechless because, 1) I don't really wish to retaliate crudely, 2) If i retaliate, it just shows I really do care, 3) My mind just couldn't really wish to be bothered to.

Guess that's what us always do, to make assumptions, jump to conclusions, come up with our own verdicts and waddle in our own pool of deceit, wear the mop-like wig and sentence to anyone who isn't a lot like us (in this case, a judge who stole a candy bar from 7-11 when he was 9 eventhough he was given 10 buckaroos, got away scot-free eventually VS a teenage boy who killed his uncle because his uncle was trying to rape his mother. How alike/unlike?), to death with a book, a hammer, and a statement.

It's a cultural taboo to even think we are always right and forcefully shove others into our 'way'.

Nevertheless, it's still happening and vastly practised nowadays.

"People who have never come close to seeking death, don't understand its promise of an end to life's struggles. They don't understand the precarious teeter-totter on which a suicidal person balances, shuffling reasons to live and reasons to die back and forth to avoid hitting bottom. They don't understand that when you're that low, when you can't see beyond yourself and your fallen-apart world, it's the little things that send you over the edge, not the big things.

And sometimes it is the little things that keep you going, too."

-

I am constantly seeking the need to find a reason to go on. Alas, greeted by the inability to find it.

And are you the king or queen of denial?

-

Hmm...
When your wallet is dry, so is your brain.

Haha. I have nothing to blog about man. Was even planning to say something about superiority vs inferiority this afternoon.

But no. I'm too hungry to even try to think.

Ahh.. Perhaps I can post what I want to get before I leave SG.

1. A red big luggage
2. A black hand carry one
3. A Sony Cybershot TXXX (I don't remember the model no.) in Red
4. A red lappie, pink one will do too.
   
   I swear I saw this Coach varicoloured card holder which got me jumped up in excitement.