I ought to be feeling really tired right now. My legs are aching and my head is a carousel. I have learnt last night that a fatal combination of Duromine, Nicotine and Caffeine can lead to severe aftermaths of being wide-eyed open all through the night, reacting a tad slower to ongoings than the usual, making mistakes at work (when I work, I am a perfectionist).

I just cannot go to sleep now. Because there's this lingering aroma of melting cheese on a crust, most prolly topped with pepperoni and some capsicums, tantalising the breaths I inhale. Then it growled and the owner got tempted.

I wrote a poem recently and I can say I am pretty proud it turns out quite well (at least, to me). So very queer as usual but that's just me.

Stomp's fucking funny okay. Some r-tards really have the time of the world to take pictures of ugly commuters, horny teenagers in school uniforms, men in big cars going Geylang for hoes. Bleeding minds, just walk up to whoever you think ain't doing anything right and start a fight. Because, so what? You'd still be a rock star.

Did I mention I adore that new song from Pink? :D

I really want to start a fight! With some bloody obese bitch with big fat bums and cucumber-sullen lips. I'll slap her hard in her fuckin face, throw her down on the floor, kick her hard everywhere and finally when she's oh so begging me so hard not to kill her, I will just blow her brains off after taking a lovely photo of her pleading look.

Pathetic.

And that's really a fantasy of mine. /slurps

We are going to the F1s!

I had two boxes of F1 passes.

Which means two passes for all three days.

Friday's went to Cal.

Saturday's went to Dawn.

Sunday's mine!

:D

PS. You lucky bitch Trac. I am taking you.

I need a cold holiday!

A lonely one.

To grieve.

To grow.

I strongly believe that there's four seasons in Singapore. I bought my Autumns, then smiley sun came out to shine effortlessly every day. And it's making me so lazy. I just feel like sitting on a crouch, sipping some lemonade away and listen to the Gorillaz.

I woke up with a splitting headache. I doubt the real reason for sleeping is to rejuvenate the body and the mind because I woke up feeling less than a fetid corpse. My fingernails are getting long, and I am deciding whether to cut them or not. My everyday now is friggin routined, without all the crashing tidal waves. What makes me interesting might be those ill emotions, or perhaps detestable to some. I am a living dead now, with high anticipation of everything yet a low EQ to react to situations.

I somewhat miss those wasted days. Waking up to nothing, ending the day with nothing. It's either a hard boiled wonderland or the end of the world. And me now - on Earth, nowhere spectacular or generously ample in all aspects. I need clever discussions and intelligence stimulation with a touch of flamboyance and flair. Anyone, please?

And oh Bennett, Happy 23rd Birthday. It seems like yesterday we were 19. The girls on the search for Miss Maxim 2008 are really quite hideous. Yikes, you know. Yikes.

-

AX ARMANI EXCHANGE
ARMANI COLLEZIONI
ARMANI JEANS
ARMANI JUNIOR
BALENCIAGA
BERLUTI
BETULA
BLACKJACK
CK CALVIN KLEIN
CK MENS
CLUB 21 GALLERY
CLUB 21 LADIES
CLUB 21 MEN
D&G
DIESEL
DKNY
DKNY JEANS
DKNY KIDS
DOLCE & GABBANA
DONNA KARAN
DRIES VAN NOTEN
EMPORIO ARMANI
GIORGIO ARMANI
ISSEY MIYAKE
JIL SANDER
KIDS 21
MARC BY MARC JACOBS
MARINA RINALDI
MARNI
MAX & CO
MAX MARA
MULBERRY
PAUL SMITH
POMELLATO
TWELVE 21
VILEBREQUIN

Betrayal.

I have not been writing in days to count. Not because I have been too busy, it's just that I had pretended to be. To be so occupied with work to the extend I tried to neglect my pets, my liking for books, my syncs with my world - myself.

I have hence titled this post based on a recent event which turned the cards I have laid on the table around, against me.

Another big betrayal in Year 2008. FD1 did something unimaginable and I have remembered I was still standing alongside her with my faith and utmost trust even though the truth was almost hanging loosely at the end of my fingers. The truth sure was within reach and the truth came to light, shocking me to a almost possible mental trauma, forcing me to question my own judgement. And this time, for the second time around, I had been seeing things the way I want to see them again. She was totally un-ignorable because her presence had an omnipresent motivating force for me to look forward to every working day with her. Sadly, she landed herself in a state which is nothing more compared to roach. My words are harsh, and so were her actions. And it wasn't me alone who felt pain and hurt by what she had done.

I feel like picking up guitar once again.

I didn't think I will ever see him again, but the meeting was meaningless. Totally uncalled for and it sure stirred up some storms within me again. Then I come to this realisation, that it has been an idealisation all this while. I intentionally had myself to be regretful and guilty of what took place. And apart from some little tiny tinges of feelings I didn't really register, I had been myself for the day. I guess I had moved on very discreetly.

So this is the final kiss.

This is whispered goodbye.