Betrayal.

I have not been writing in days to count. Not because I have been too busy, it's just that I had pretended to be. To be so occupied with work to the extend I tried to neglect my pets, my liking for books, my syncs with my world - myself.

I have hence titled this post based on a recent event which turned the cards I have laid on the table around, against me.

Another big betrayal in Year 2008. FD1 did something unimaginable and I have remembered I was still standing alongside her with my faith and utmost trust even though the truth was almost hanging loosely at the end of my fingers. The truth sure was within reach and the truth came to light, shocking me to a almost possible mental trauma, forcing me to question my own judgement. And this time, for the second time around, I had been seeing things the way I want to see them again. She was totally un-ignorable because her presence had an omnipresent motivating force for me to look forward to every working day with her. Sadly, she landed herself in a state which is nothing more compared to roach. My words are harsh, and so were her actions. And it wasn't me alone who felt pain and hurt by what she had done.

I feel like picking up guitar once again.

I didn't think I will ever see him again, but the meeting was meaningless. Totally uncalled for and it sure stirred up some storms within me again. Then I come to this realisation, that it has been an idealisation all this while. I intentionally had myself to be regretful and guilty of what took place. And apart from some little tiny tinges of feelings I didn't really register, I had been myself for the day. I guess I had moved on very discreetly.

So this is the final kiss.

This is whispered goodbye.