Yesterday is here.

I've decided to rid the butterflies because I somehow don't really feel comfortable with them.

Yet another day of humdrum existence. I have been living a monotony for the entire day. Nothing seems to thrill or send a upbeat to my insides. I woke up as commanded by my bio clock. And besides reading up a little, watching Nat Geo a little, did the laundry, I had let today while itself away like it should. A few too many times, I've dozed off on the couch. Only to be awaken to nothingness again. As stoic as it is, this is never a cup of my tea.

Thought of going out alone to take some pictures. But with the weather pouring and all, staying indoors seems like the clearer better option.

Doesn't my life revolve around something else besides work, guinea pigs, books, lomography, booze, family and friends? I am so inadequate! Something is missing. My mojo is! I need to work on a change. Any adoption of another attitude is good. I just need a breakthrough.

I dislike this feeling of a walking dead. My jokes are getting colder, everyone around me is boring me one way or another. Meeting repetitive people and talking repetitive talks. "I think I need a boyfriend Dawn." "No, you don't. You just need to go out with your friends." Is this true? That after hanging out with someone for quite some time, both of you somewhat drain yourselves out of topics? And the only common topics which used to hold both together will eventually evolve to differences which will inevitably intervene both? Ideas and opinions are such tricky businesses. Especially when obstinacy and adamance play such omnipresent parts.

As I age, why does it seem tougher than before, to get closer to someone? Could a guarded heart be the cause? Could naiveness be a fundament to trusting? Is it impossible for all to take me as guilelessly as they could because I am quite aware that if I bestow you my friendship, I am never too selfish on my sincerity. Then again, do not reproach me for not being trusting, because being trusting and sincere are two wholly different matters.