Little bit.

Hands down, I'm too proud for loveBut with eyes shut it's you I'm thinking ofBut how we move from A to B?It can't be up to me 'cause you don't knowEye to eye, thigh to thigh, I let go

orbital period.V

More often than not, I am fully aware of the ins and outs going around. I don't normally need a piece of truth to bring forth the clarity of circumstances. And if I ever do, choose not to be enlightened, you know you are significant.

We are both complicated creatures with thoughts that run as deep as bottomless wells, rich emotions that churn like crashing waves and complex minds that spun intertwined cognitive threads within this skull. Every little thing we both do is a metaphor, an aftermath, a cause with pseudo goodwill. And if I may mention, our prides and egos are what made up us. If there isn't a point where we both shed this skin and give our true selves to each other, I dare say the ominous clouds shalt billow in, in a short matter of time. 

I would rather die, having dreamt of all the splendour we may well create if you were simpler, than to have you deliver any form of fatal blow.

I love you, so I said. And why isn't love enough, Alice asked Daniel.

I miss you Nic. You know you are the only one on earth who I'll always listen to. And the only one who I'll sing Bananarama with.

Dancing with ghouls

Regrets collect like old friends

Here to relive your darkest moments

I can see no way, I can see no way

And all of the ghouls come out to play

And every demon wants his pound of flesh

But I like to keep some things to myself

I like to keep my issues drawn

It's always darkest before the dawn

And I've been a fool and I've been blind

I can never leave the past behind

I can see no way, I can see no way

I'm always dragging that horse around

And our love is pastured such a mournful sound

Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground

So I like to keep my issues drawn

But it's always darkest before the dawn

I am done with my graceless heart

So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart

Cause I like to keep my issues drawn

It's always darkest before the dawn

And given half the chance would I take any of it back

It's a fine romance but it's left me so undone

It's always darkest before the dawn

And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't

So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road

And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope

It's a shot in the dark and right at my throat

Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me

Looking for heaven, found the devil in me

Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back

So shake him off.

*

We need a mass masquerade one of these days. Perhaps behind these masks, only then could we all be ourselves - free, unable to be contained, running like horses galloping against wind.

Probably the longest post in the longest time. I'm taking a breather out of this full-day stint which I'm supposed to see it through come end of the day - that is, something which more than possibly, plays a vital role in how the road ahead will be paved. 

I sent a little note to this irreplaceable someone the other day and was greeted with nothing near an acknowledgement. I tried to understand the notion behind this, I thought we are friends. But it turns out, that we were nothing more than a mere chamber of memories, cast out to open seas, afloat in full view, but can never be retrieved again. For tied to this chamber is an unmeasurable weight concealed within the depths of the sea. The antagonist and protagonist will never have the courage to bury deep within again; we've beaten ourselves, fallen and almost drowned. Trapped under at that moment in time, we had two mermaids who came to our rescue. In different directions they both travelled, the leads shall never meet again for the rest of the breaths they will each take. But why? What calls for this take and turn on this course? It's been done and was inserted a full-stop, but why should this not start on a different note? Has hatred and loathe come into play? What have I ever done, I need to ask you this. If I did forgive for all you've done, why shouldn't you too?

I can only turn around and peer from afar, a not too distant past but stretches on miles and miles. All the silly things I've done, all the mistakes I've made plastered onto the walls of a cell. I was the one who built this cell, I'm the prisoner and I'm my very own warden.

I'm sick of games. Karma, please don't be a bitch on me - I'm sorry.

It's gotta be social compatible, sexual irresistible. 

It's gotta be right... for life.

Sure - Take That

A sorry Sunday awaits, unkind to give me the drive to see through the finales of all assignments which will soon be due and generous with giving me waves of churning insides (once again).

I've again become the victim of the very own games I play (nnb). Why do I hypothetically believe I have the power of control in every thing all the time? If there is, destiny won't even be a state of comfort for many. Mental note: alter cognition and please, if you want to play games, don't friggin bring the ball to emotional court.

I am not a self-proclaimed paradox, I don't consider myself to be. I am easily readable and I always wear my heart on my sleeves. I say what I think most of the times, be those words be in a beat-about-bush fashion, they all relate to what's on my mind. I do have the ability to find out what I want to know through asking some other questions that are not related and you won't even notice, do you know that?

I dread the thought of myself crumbling again. And yet, I am aware I have the dirty desire to. Fire is not meant to be trifled with and the risk-taker in me wants it. It yearns for the burning sensation on the skin and hews to the flesh. This sadist that lives within us longs for pain, agony and all that melodrama. All in the name of that fleeting moments of completeness, feeling of fulfilment and most of the time, make-believe happiness. Shakespeare isn't the father of wisdom for a reason! Florid his words are, they ensconce trickery and dupe the young minds into believing what is grand and naturally right. Natural was never made grand. It is a state of stillness that delivers grandeur just by being itself.

Ever-changing scenes and the life now are not granting me grace. Where art thou Chrissy?

deAr_gOd - what kind of machine have you created out of me? It's been 7 friggin years since we knew each other, 5 friggin years since we left each other, 4 friggin years since we last saw each other. 2 years of crazy love and together is enough. You don't have to haunt me this way now, please.

Just for fun, I decided to post something here of a long forgotten ex bf who happens to resemble Jay Park (go cry girls). Hi Alloy, I don't know how you're gonna react if you see this, but hey, fanning your ego here (always have been ;)) so don't go hating. xxx