It's 8:25 in the morning. The sky is crying itself into the beginning of a new day. I am a matutinal person. And surprisingly my brain works better with the scent of the morning grass. I always have this peculiar envy towards people who can sleep ten hours, twelve hours... whole day. I am incapable of pampering my body with ample rest.
As much as I thought I am in sync with my mind; I still don't know what I want. I tend to have this damaging power to destroy everything I want. Yes, I wreck things that I wish to possess, people I think I wish to be with. Destroy it, or them, and sulk and cry and fuck myself inside out at every post extirpation. I can't help it. I am just not in accord with myself yet. I think too much, far too ahead. I just can't afford to fall another time like how I tripped previously. It was a massive desolation for me. I have to protect myself. Yes, and be it being mean to you,(or you call it) toy you, fool you, play with your mind; I have to do it. I am apologetic. I am sorry. But believe me, I am really not as mean as you think I am.
As much as I thought I am in sync with my mind; I still don't know what I want. I tend to have this damaging power to destroy everything I want. Yes, I wreck things that I wish to possess, people I think I wish to be with. Destroy it, or them, and sulk and cry and fuck myself inside out at every post extirpation. I can't help it. I am just not in accord with myself yet. I think too much, far too ahead. I just can't afford to fall another time like how I tripped previously. It was a massive desolation for me. I have to protect myself. Yes, and be it being mean to you,(or you call it) toy you, fool you, play with your mind; I have to do it. I am apologetic. I am sorry. But believe me, I am really not as mean as you think I am.
Perhaps our own guise of phantasmagoria is just not going to happen at all, or perhaps it's already happening.
There are two sides to every truth.
And I hope the rightful side is soon to be vivid to the eyes.
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