It started as crankiness last Sunday. I didn't think much why I was acting this way, I soon realised that it's my body sending lil signals to my mind that I was going down. So it happened. My body is officially rejecting every minerals and nutrients I forcefully tried shoved em down my throat. I didn't know how in sync my mind is with my body until today.
I know I am far from becoming who I've always wanted me to be. Too far to be exact. But this one thing I know, is that I am changing. From the damaged mind I once had, to a brand new one. That morbid interest should never be included in my profile again, the blade shall never be raised again. Afterall, isn't what this soul vacation should be?
All thanks to the endless puking, I suppose I have thrown up every bad I had.
The weather now, the color of the sky reminds me so much of that evening... When Lisa Ono was playing, when it was dark, and lonely. Then I remembered what I was thinking, it's me. On what I have been through, and when would I be able to throw them all behind. I doubted my capability, not until this morning greeted me.
I very much wish to wake up to my family, but I knew what I was offered. The thoughts of laughter embraced me like a million gold dust sprinkled all over. I know I am loved no matter who I am, no matter what I have been through. I know me.
I started to ponder on dreams, how I have confused dreams with Life. Dreams of your own are for yourself solely to keep, and that dreams that everyone is giving us are just merely games of risks and chances. If I were to live in dreams created by you, would I be accused of being hypothetical? Or would you adore me because I am willing to be part of your fantasy...
I thought of my favorite thing to do back home. To sit by with my favorite tropical passion latte, to while time away while watching onlookers. To listen to the speeches they were having, to see those looks on their faces, to observe and to understand. I somehow feel now, that to understand everyone around us, is such taxing chore to do. That is, if that someone doesn't wish to be comprehended, no matter how much penetration, it's us who would end up being baffled. I will finally, put my mind to rest, and to let everything settles on me, instead of chasing them.
-Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart's Ave Maria
The same ambience now, without my bed, without my curtains, not within my comfort zone. No one there to tell me that dinner's ready, no squeals of hunger, no one to whisper I love you. Faith isn't something to keep. It's shared by two parties, and that when one is having, one is not, it becomes a mere word. I have Faith in myself and you, which I thought I have the ability to be forgiving, and I had thought it isn't one sided. The vital truth hits me. I have finally stripped myself of everything I once were with my crimson hands. The Time intertwined but yet, ticked us by.
My emotions and thoughts, crystal clear and calm as water. Alas, to great dismay, they are for me to seal up now; my heart.
I couldn't control the sleek eyes from watering, I stood rooted.
Mono.
All thanks to the endless puking, I suppose I have thrown up every bad I had.
The weather now, the color of the sky reminds me so much of that evening... When Lisa Ono was playing, when it was dark, and lonely. Then I remembered what I was thinking, it's me. On what I have been through, and when would I be able to throw them all behind. I doubted my capability, not until this morning greeted me.
I very much wish to wake up to my family, but I knew what I was offered. The thoughts of laughter embraced me like a million gold dust sprinkled all over. I know I am loved no matter who I am, no matter what I have been through. I know me.
I started to ponder on dreams, how I have confused dreams with Life. Dreams of your own are for yourself solely to keep, and that dreams that everyone is giving us are just merely games of risks and chances. If I were to live in dreams created by you, would I be accused of being hypothetical? Or would you adore me because I am willing to be part of your fantasy...
I thought of my favorite thing to do back home. To sit by with my favorite tropical passion latte, to while time away while watching onlookers. To listen to the speeches they were having, to see those looks on their faces, to observe and to understand. I somehow feel now, that to understand everyone around us, is such taxing chore to do. That is, if that someone doesn't wish to be comprehended, no matter how much penetration, it's us who would end up being baffled. I will finally, put my mind to rest, and to let everything settles on me, instead of chasing them.
-Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart's Ave Maria
The same ambience now, without my bed, without my curtains, not within my comfort zone. No one there to tell me that dinner's ready, no squeals of hunger, no one to whisper I love you. Faith isn't something to keep. It's shared by two parties, and that when one is having, one is not, it becomes a mere word. I have Faith in myself and you, which I thought I have the ability to be forgiving, and I had thought it isn't one sided. The vital truth hits me. I have finally stripped myself of everything I once were with my crimson hands. The Time intertwined but yet, ticked us by.
My emotions and thoughts, crystal clear and calm as water. Alas, to great dismay, they are for me to seal up now; my heart.
I couldn't control the sleek eyes from watering, I stood rooted.
Mono.
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