Catatonic.

People come and go.

Those who used to matter to you at a certain point of time in your life don't quite mean a thing to you now. Those who used to have the unfathomable ability to send a million thoughts to your head or generate fluttering butterflies in your stomach no longer have the ability to anymore. So it seems. They have all been right all the while. Time is the best remedy for anything. 

And this is a sad thought to behold isn't it?

On the crossroad where two persons might meet and develop mutual attraction in hope for something concrete, paved was hypotheses of hope, faith and belief in something worthwhile that was within easy reach. Something worth waiting for, working towards for. Something worth the time, effort, dedication and pain. But very so often, things don't turn out the way we wanted them to. No matter how much we try to steer the boat, if it doesn't act in accordance with the motion of your hands, count yourself lucky it even budged. 

It's in the human blood that we romanticize the person we wish to be romantically involved with. We dream without a basis, we fantasize without grounds (and without limits), we would like to believe we live alongside Shakespeare and speak romance. 

There are many a few people who you don't wish to let go. And there are so many who you know are harmful to your well-being but find them hard to shake off. The bad memories that come together with these people haunt you the way a horror flick does and yet package themselves in pretty blue boxes topped with a fancy ribbon. But the uproar is, the point is, you find yourself running back to these people only to be dealt with the same hurt, offense, time and time again. And so it seems they really did mention people do deserve second chances and you have been trying to be magnanimous. But how does one handle those who never bother to reflect upon their own moral conduct? Especially when you've been facing one who you are sure is capable of bringing everyone around down in order to portray him/herself in a better light?

I spent my weekend being very still and quiet, letting thoughts race through my mind. I tried to undo certain events but I have come to terms that Hogwarts is never going to send me a letter. I paced two steps backwards and tried to salvage the current predicament that I think I am facing. I'm at an absolute loss for words and next action steps. Then before I knew it, I relapsed into this queer and quiet me, and start to think and feel again.