I wept badly last night while calling out your name to the tinkling noises of the windchime. And I know somewhere at a discreet corner, the identical one is jingling too. I fell asleep again, like every other ordinary day, to the ghost of you hoping that this itself is a dream.
I shouldn't have let you know what Ben did before which almost killed me. I didn't think you'd do that to me, which you have in fact, proved my judgement wrong. The difference this time - I didn't hide under anything. I have to feel this. I have to know I can still live as usual without you.
I feel bad and guilty for hurling words of harshness in your face. And it makes me wonder, whether you do too.
I have to shut myself in again, and never even want to learn how to invite warmth. We will both learn our self taught lessons well this time.
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