the L word.

Insides are churning which warrants the need to post.

The Diary of truths is lying around with no intention of mine to update. The drama has died down a little. I've just bathed Sparky. This morning I sent Madelia a text which got me thinking what the fug is wrong with me:

"Everything is in a wreck. Sparky is dirty. I haven't studied for my test next week. Two group assignments due soon. Work standstill. Salary keeps getting docked."

Jesus.

Is this who you've known me to be? I've staggered one too many times this year. I've managed to screw up everything which used to matter and everyone who matters to me - I have lost my footing.

And in this not so perfect world to whom shalt I seek solace from now? Madelia? The closest at heart who is also battered and worn right now. I can muster that bit of strength that's left in me to see her through these dark times but does she have the willpower to do the same for me? I doubt so. After all, it was I, my comeback, that brought forth a series of tidal waves to this once peaceful realm of hers. I was the antagonist from her previous dramatic romantic stint, I still am the antagonist of her current.

So we decided to take a break from the L word (pun intended).

Speaking of the L word, I tried to recall how Tina forgave Bette after she found out that the latter cheated on her. As we've always understood, I'm Bette, she's Tina but I've never cheated on her. And according to Wikipedia (2012), Bette is supposedly to be the one true love of Tina!

Time to work on presentation and mug and stop fretting over Helena Peabody's existence.

P.S ultimately, Tina went back to Bette, didn't she?

And for you Madelia, won't you listen to this song for a bit?

Achilles' Heel

I find myself falling into a bottomless pit in total darkness. I couldn't see my arms nor feet. There is no tinge of light and the only thing I could feel is that I'm falling into a state of nothingness that stretches miles and miles on - perhaps there isn't even an end to it. My state of mind hasn't been kind towards me these days. That explains the frequent entries here. If there's a scarcity of posts here, you know my insides are intact and functioning properly. 

I tried to be still but my soul cries unrest. And with a civil war happening all within, I find myself having to cope with tidal cognitive waves, a growling stomach, two smoked lungs and a pair of droopy eyes. Nothing seems to move. This unstoppable train has run out of steam. 

"I need to dress up, doll up, go out, to a bar or something, blend into the ambience and the dark, have one or two cocktails, watch people as I think. That way, in the dark, maybe I could see some light. Perhaps not as quite the light which one wishes to find but I'll settle for now."

Cissy took out her gloves as she walked through the cherrywood door. She was wearing a black dress and her favourite Ferragamos. It was autumn, the air reeked of withered flowers and dried leaves. 

"I've just been to the Irish bar down that street, at the corner after you took a left turn. As I sat by one of the tables towards the end of the bar, I saw Madelia and Courtesan Achilles walking in and taking their seats at a small round table adjacent the stage. Taking the stage was a soprano singing sorrow to all the broken-hearteds. Seated side by side with no obvious sign of affection, Madelia and Courtesan Achilles didn't notice me at all. They looked as if they were in a world which belongs to the both of them. And I was the onlooker, watching from afar. They were laughing and I saw Madelia mouthed 'Cissy'. Courtesan Achilles threw her head back and laughed with enthusiasm. Madelia continued mentioning 'Cissy' for a while before the soprano let out an A5." 

Having prepared herself a lowball of whiskey, Cissy then sat down in her favourite red couch that's the center-piece of the hall. She took a sip and began to weep.

"It pains me to know that I've been made a joke. But what can I do? I love her." 

Paradise

There's a reason why the old always warn us against starting what we can't finish. Why we don't normally listen is because there's a bone in us that tells us we could. A clean break was never an easy feat when emotions and memories are in the court. Not to mention, efforts in trying to make it work, initially.

Five months ago, I ended something with feelings. Being tricky little things they've always been, and having ended something with them being around, they are back to haunt me the way restless ghouls would. Unearthed, roaming wild and beyond subdual.

"It is probably a miracle to me. I have been telling you that I would try my best to work it out for us. You ought to know you're special in this sense because it's beyond my comprehension - thus, I said, a miracle. So why didn't you try to work it out with me with shared efforts and not make me feel I've been the one trying? Why haven't you been able to see things in the long run? It was never meant to be easy and I was well aware before I took the plunge. I was ready to and I did. I thought you'll see what I see, feel what I feel. But you didn't and so I had to leave. Because I'm moving fast like an unstoppable train and I saw you as a passing scenery." 

I left Madelia the way I would to a blooming wild flower in the meadows because its sheer pure delight was something I couldn't take with for the fear of ruining its beauty. And five months later... 

Madelia came with a vengeance. She slipped into my world again when I was down and out. She stood by and made me feel that me, this unstoppable train, might have the ability again to take this blooming flower with me. I thought and I tried to execute. Madelia hadn't been honest; she has someone else. I was merely an object to fill up the void I left five months ago - I had become the receiving end of a sharpened blade which I had initially delivered and a classic example of bad karma. A town hall gathering was held with people who could help to see through things. And the tales I received were all the same, consistent throughout and out. The notion was clear to the eyes that manipulation of both parties was in play. Was it a case of confusion on Madelia's end or was it cowardice? 

A wild flower which I'd always have a soft spot for had dealt me another blow of malice after the first I received from Westminster a good four weeks ago. The wild flower was in her own league - possessing a tiara which I've bestowed. I told this wild flower that only in her presence that I find solace. And this solace became an uproar shortly. Now, what good are memories for I've never done unjust to Madelia and if I had remembered, done more for her than I've ever? 

*

Life goes on, 

it gets so heavy 
The wheel breaks the butterfly 
Every tear, a waterfall 
In the night, the stormy night, she'll close her eyes 
In the night, the stormy night, away she'd fly 

Soul Queen.

Fields of Gold

Getting back on feet after a fall was never easy. Well, this depends greatly on how big a fall you've had. No one ever had a good way to categorise a fall. Or should I say, it's subjective. However, if you do feel me, feel me saying that the intensity of anything is never meant to be measured by time. Mom was worried, so I see. And she's been rendering support the way she has never really done in the past.

As a result, the other living organism who suffers apart from myself is Sparky. I went to her today and was astonished to see her sleeping on her own faeces. Hay was everywhere, food pellets too. She looks like she belongs in the slums. I feel guilty but things would have been better if Brownie was still around, I am sure. Just like me, we are both entrapped in a predicament that's forcefully inflicted upon by someone else. Hers being me, mine being someone of certain significance. The difference here is that I am the only one who can get her out of this mess and I am the only one who can get myself out of this mess. What a tricky situation.

Old English turns me on. I chanced upon a note from a stranger who uses words such as beauteous and desiderata; I raised a brow. Impressed, I knew I had to reply. English, English, English! Never would I have thought I'll be this influenced by Dickens. This set me on a mental frenzy, thinking about things I used to very much ponder on five years ago.

Five years ago, I was living the expired teenage dream of being a waif. I've walked Ann Siang Road alone many times, with a notebook in hand and scribbled anything which came to mind. Poems, proses, notes and pompous words which I believe will one day come of use knowing I'm so melodramatic and such a sucker for riddles and gnomics. Five years ago, I was cold with walls as high as skies fenced around myself. I was the core and no one mattered. Gradually, the layers began to shed.

Time is the best solution to any problem. After all, it was Time which got me away from Bennett. We tried chasing Time but its innumerable horsepower always beats us to it. We are all its slaves and yet at the same time, it's the only thing which can save us from ourselves. Time sheds clarity and with time, truth unveils.

Without truth, we're all savages.

"So you may ask, what's the truth here Westminster? Well, I would say, the truth being I being the most inconsiderate and selfish brute. And it is most unfortunate that you found and dug out a piece of broken bone from the fields of barley I've ploughed for you. Look upon it here. It was gold, grandiosely shining in the beating rays of the evening sun and it was for you. I've worked on the field and ploughed it just for you. And no, it wasn't a field of romantic purple lavender because it'd be impractical to, for I know purple was never your favourite colour. Gold was, you love anything shiny. The broken bone here, having unearthed, tainted the whole picture. You see, it was never meant to be unearthed, I've been trying to keep it away, far from your sight and senses. You found it eventually - an act of God's will if you may say! 

I have dreams to chase. When they materialise or at least, when I've found the first step of stairs which will lead me to them, I'll come to you again. Then, make this a chase that's hard, but not too hard."

"But Westminster, it was never Cissy's wish to have found the broken bone. You call it an act of God if you shalt. And I've forgiven. So why is it impossible for you to stay? Time with its innumerable horsepower will beat us to it. Won't it be a shame if we embark alone now that we're standing together at this crossroad finally and after a five year hiatus? Weren't you wanting this five years ago? Will we grieve upon this loss when we realise we're unforgettable? Who are we to challenge Time? We are not Greek Gods here, we don't wield swords nor do we control the rain. But if you must go, remember me, the nights and days we spent, the moments we created, and if you may, the times we kissed."

Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her.

If you can bounce high, bounce for her too.

Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,

I must have you!"

-Thomas Parke D'Invilliers (Francis Scott Fitzgerald)

Milestone #Leo

It's amazing how time works its way around things. A good one week ago, we promised to re-visit this singer at Rick's, One Rochester. And things right now are pretty fucked up; the predicaments I'm facing are beyond me. Unable to comprehend the gist, reason, and letting 'why' constantly running all over my mind, I broke down when my iPod Classic of 3 years decided to - you guessed it - broke down on me.

Tried to reset, went to iPod/support and racked my brains out sans the opening up of it, I decided to give up and went out to get myself a iPod Nano. From 80GB to 16GB, from black to white (because they ran out of black), songs remained at a count of 2222 and everything else is still pretty much the same. Well, there's Nike fitness pre-installed in it and this comes in handy when I start to run again very soon. As if the current 'me' now is not intimidating enough, I decided to crown myself a true blue Greek Goddess in a matter of months (narcissism is my middle name, you don't know this?). God knows why I lost all motivation to get back in shape after the sixty laps I swam a few weeks ago but I shall dedicate my focus into becoming beyond reach. 

You can't kill me if this is what you want. What gravitas of your words they bear? 

Metaphorically speaking, the break down of my beloved iPod Classic shed some light into the clarity of things that are taking place now. 3 years, three months, whatever the span of time, if it's beyond repair, it's beyond it. Let's replace it with a younger option then. You guessed it. 

Kingdom come

"The world's mine for the taking, make me king."

It wasn't easy to see through the last weekend - the preparation of my dearest, Tracy's wedding wasn't an easy feat. Talk about being a hundred percent involved, I was barely 70 and I felt like a nice piece of wrecked art.

Nonetheless, I am glad I did. For all I haven't done (if any) for her all these years, I hope I've redeemed myself with the dedication I had put into just for her - just her. The funny thing about having a friend whose birthday is just two days later than yours, the idiosyncrasies we possess are rather identical. And I've only noticed over the weekend. At 5 am, we both jumped out of bed in the same manner to our alarms which went off at the same time and the pillows we slept on were positioned the same. Picture evidence here:

Leo girls sleep on down pillows like lionesses resting on rocks.

So finally, she married and she had the cheek to tell me, she's dropped out of the Spinster Club. Just in case I haven't mentioned before (I'm pretty sure I have never), Spinster Club is an unofficial club made up of three girls - one down now, two left in the club now. 

Cartman feeling me, totally.

I hate Halloween this year. Being the all-fun-and-no-work me, I totally detest the fact that no one at work dressed up. I know we publish books but can't publishers be fun?! Halloween last year was like this:

Not the ghouls which were scary but how we managed to all squeeze into that pathetic lift was.

I NEED A HOLIDAY! 

And this is what I'm looking at:

Rawa Island, Malaysia.

Before it gets commercialised, I'm going to make my way there! Who the hell on earth can resist sipping Malibu under the palm trees, feeling the breeze in your hair, warm rays of sun beating down on your skin, and turquoise water? You're so mine. I need to make sure I make my way there come 2013.

School has started again after a good five weeks hiatus. I have lost all the drive and motivation to attend classes and I have already missed two. I need something waiting for me at Robertson Quay as a bait so that I will duly make my way there after work - perhaps Wrenna Wong since she's been hanging out there very often. 

[Picture of Wrenna Wong here taken down because it potentially has the ability to hinder her political career. Really]

*

Chrissy'2012. 

xo

circa 2012, 22.10.

He said,

It pained him that I bumped my head against the low ceiling.

He wants to be my best friend.

He wants this to work.

He has grown more fond of me.

And he loves me.

[edit]GO FUCK YOURSELF. 

You always want what you can't have.

Me included.

it will rain.

probably the only from Mars that I listen to. 

While it lasts.

I took time off from studying - my exams are due tomorrow. Went to pack my mini library in my room and counted the number of books on backlog - 19 friggin books. I give an average of 500 pages for each book and this would amount to 9500 pages to finish. I used to be able to finish a 800 page book in three days. Using this quite backdated norm, I would take around 36 days to finish the 19 books. Good Lord.

Have you heard of Marian Keyes? She's an Irish novelist and a non-fiction writer whose works consist the likes of "Lucy Sullivan is getting married", "Angels" and "The other side of the story". No? Try reading some of her works if you happen to be a fan of sarcasm, quick-witted dialogues and dark humour. Well if you don't have the ability to comprehend the meaning behind each of what she wrote, I'm sure you'll still giggle to some parts, perhaps just not as much.

Titled: New Beginning 2012 (13th March 2012)

Reading past entries never fails to either make you blush, shame you or perhaps plant that little hint of regret in your cognition/the chamber of emotions.

Titled 'New Beginning' for evident reasons, I'll list what calls for this title in point forms and then elaborate: 

1. Broke up with Lord Sief 
2. Got into my first gay relationship with Mademoiselle Madelia
3. Left the bunch of clowns at Ribbons 
4. Harbour sexual/romantic thoughts for Peasant Westminster 
5. Regretting having left Lord Sief

1. First and foremost, Lord Sief and I were already having problems which both of us had been choosing to be oblivious to. Indisputably, the both of us were soul mates to each other, and still are. However faithful we both tried to be to each other, it won't work out. .  Please don't be mistaken. My love for Lord Sief is unfathomable and unmeasurable. Even until now, I can look at myself in the mirror, wide-eyed and honestly spilling that I love him. If I'm ever gonna get married, Lord Sief will be my first choice, even there wasn't any sex. Okay, maybe Merchant Bentley. Then Lord Sief.

Dating someone of the same sex may be new, fresh and very interesting. But being in a relationship with one of the same sex is not. It's extremely hard to sustain a gay relationship especially when I feel I'm more inclined towards testosterones. And there's no bit of male's decisiveness, strength and firmness (not the hard-on) in Mademoiselle Madelia. She's a terrific person and she will make a good girl (hot, sexy, clever and all). She just can't be my girl. Maybe now I don't even want a girl. 

Who on earth preaches about herself clearly knowing what she wants, and making decisions with much consideration and if possible, with clairvoyance? Me, yours sincerely, fucking me.

I'll never learn, won't I?

I can feel my feelings seeping away like fine sands through the little intervening gaps of the palm. And I don't know what to do. Don't wish to hurt her, it will kill me.

3. Left Ribbons. Full-stop forever. If there's ever a slight tinge of remorse, I regret not sending a hate mail out to everyone on my last day. Bye clowns. I hope PETA decides to call a raid on you one day and press charges against you for keeping so many exotic pets (namely pigs, two-headed snakes and hyenas) Sarcasm intended; not to be taken in a tongue-in-cheek manner. 

4. Peasant Westminster. Funny how fate works around people. Let's see, we had a one-off thing in 2007. It's 2012 now. Five years and he's still hung up on me. I propose a toast to him for honouring the cliche 'you want what you can't have'. This man has got patience and I must say, the patience is slowly paying off. If he makes swift, smooth moves of a ninja's now on me, I'd be so darted to the wall with a big heart emblazoned across. 

Maybe God is trying to tell me something. I obviously have my past (Lord Sief), present (Mademoiselle Madelia) and future (Peasant Westminster??? Really?!) presented to me on life's cake stand right now. And it's a cake stand because all of them have their own distinctive flavours and sweetness! I'll elaborate. 

I've said it, Lord Sief is my soul mate - we talk about everything and to be honest, though sex plays a prevalent problem for the both of us, yet again, it does also prove to be really insignificant because we are so spiritually connected.

Albeit giving me lots of pain in the head, Mademoiselle Madelia is awesome. . Why can't Merchant Bentley 2, Merchant Bentley 3 and Merchant Bentley 4 readily walk into my life after Merchant Bentley 1? I cannot get enough of this man and I swear I still desire to have a piece of this cake.

Peasant Westminster. Sometimes I find those sexual/romantic thoughts vanish fast leaving no trace behind except for bile at the back of my throat. This is so confusing, especially when the feelings which were brought forth repeatedly were antipodes.  

5. I regret having left Lord Sief. If I hadn't I may well be on a plane to the Kiwi Kingdom now and Mademoiselle Madelia won't be the way she is today and I won't be this confused over my impression (note, I didn't use 'feelings') of Peasant Westminster. 

Forever.

This needs more views! C'mon, learn how to appreciate good music. 

Especially when the music video has got cool girls with their electric guitars, riding bikes, wearing sports jacket and sneakers! 

*

I'm fab.
You're not.

感情没有对手戏，我跟自己下棋。

*

是你忽略我不过要人陪。

Little bit.

Hands down, I'm too proud for loveBut with eyes shut it's you I'm thinking ofBut how we move from A to B?It can't be up to me 'cause you don't knowEye to eye, thigh to thigh, I let go

orbital period.V

More often than not, I am fully aware of the ins and outs going around. I don't normally need a piece of truth to bring forth the clarity of circumstances. And if I ever do, choose not to be enlightened, you know you are significant.

We are both complicated creatures with thoughts that run as deep as bottomless wells, rich emotions that churn like crashing waves and complex minds that spun intertwined cognitive threads within this skull. Every little thing we both do is a metaphor, an aftermath, a cause with pseudo goodwill. And if I may mention, our prides and egos are what made up us. If there isn't a point where we both shed this skin and give our true selves to each other, I dare say the ominous clouds shalt billow in, in a short matter of time. 

I would rather die, having dreamt of all the splendour we may well create if you were simpler, than to have you deliver any form of fatal blow.

I love you, so I said. And why isn't love enough, Alice asked Daniel.

I miss you Nic. You know you are the only one on earth who I'll always listen to. And the only one who I'll sing Bananarama with.

Dancing with ghouls

Regrets collect like old friends

Here to relive your darkest moments

I can see no way, I can see no way

And all of the ghouls come out to play

And every demon wants his pound of flesh

But I like to keep some things to myself

I like to keep my issues drawn

It's always darkest before the dawn

And I've been a fool and I've been blind

I can never leave the past behind

I can see no way, I can see no way

I'm always dragging that horse around

And our love is pastured such a mournful sound

Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground

So I like to keep my issues drawn

But it's always darkest before the dawn

I am done with my graceless heart

So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart

Cause I like to keep my issues drawn

It's always darkest before the dawn

And given half the chance would I take any of it back

It's a fine romance but it's left me so undone

It's always darkest before the dawn

And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't

So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road

And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope

It's a shot in the dark and right at my throat

Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me

Looking for heaven, found the devil in me

Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back

So shake him off.

*

We need a mass masquerade one of these days. Perhaps behind these masks, only then could we all be ourselves - free, unable to be contained, running like horses galloping against wind.

Probably the longest post in the longest time. I'm taking a breather out of this full-day stint which I'm supposed to see it through come end of the day - that is, something which more than possibly, plays a vital role in how the road ahead will be paved. 

I sent a little note to this irreplaceable someone the other day and was greeted with nothing near an acknowledgement. I tried to understand the notion behind this, I thought we are friends. But it turns out, that we were nothing more than a mere chamber of memories, cast out to open seas, afloat in full view, but can never be retrieved again. For tied to this chamber is an unmeasurable weight concealed within the depths of the sea. The antagonist and protagonist will never have the courage to bury deep within again; we've beaten ourselves, fallen and almost drowned. Trapped under at that moment in time, we had two mermaids who came to our rescue. In different directions they both travelled, the leads shall never meet again for the rest of the breaths they will each take. But why? What calls for this take and turn on this course? It's been done and was inserted a full-stop, but why should this not start on a different note? Has hatred and loathe come into play? What have I ever done, I need to ask you this. If I did forgive for all you've done, why shouldn't you too?

I can only turn around and peer from afar, a not too distant past but stretches on miles and miles. All the silly things I've done, all the mistakes I've made plastered onto the walls of a cell. I was the one who built this cell, I'm the prisoner and I'm my very own warden.

I'm sick of games. Karma, please don't be a bitch on me - I'm sorry.

It's gotta be social compatible, sexual irresistible. 

It's gotta be right... for life.

Sure - Take That

A sorry Sunday awaits, unkind to give me the drive to see through the finales of all assignments which will soon be due and generous with giving me waves of churning insides (once again).

I've again become the victim of the very own games I play (nnb). Why do I hypothetically believe I have the power of control in every thing all the time? If there is, destiny won't even be a state of comfort for many. Mental note: alter cognition and please, if you want to play games, don't friggin bring the ball to emotional court.

I am not a self-proclaimed paradox, I don't consider myself to be. I am easily readable and I always wear my heart on my sleeves. I say what I think most of the times, be those words be in a beat-about-bush fashion, they all relate to what's on my mind. I do have the ability to find out what I want to know through asking some other questions that are not related and you won't even notice, do you know that?

I dread the thought of myself crumbling again. And yet, I am aware I have the dirty desire to. Fire is not meant to be trifled with and the risk-taker in me wants it. It yearns for the burning sensation on the skin and hews to the flesh. This sadist that lives within us longs for pain, agony and all that melodrama. All in the name of that fleeting moments of completeness, feeling of fulfilment and most of the time, make-believe happiness. Shakespeare isn't the father of wisdom for a reason! Florid his words are, they ensconce trickery and dupe the young minds into believing what is grand and naturally right. Natural was never made grand. It is a state of stillness that delivers grandeur just by being itself.

Ever-changing scenes and the life now are not granting me grace. Where art thou Chrissy?

deAr_gOd - what kind of machine have you created out of me? It's been 7 friggin years since we knew each other, 5 friggin years since we left each other, 4 friggin years since we last saw each other. 2 years of crazy love and together is enough. You don't have to haunt me this way now, please.

Just for fun, I decided to post something here of a long forgotten ex bf who happens to resemble Jay Park (go cry girls). Hi Alloy, I don't know how you're gonna react if you see this, but hey, fanning your ego here (always have been ;)) so don't go hating. xxx

Everyone has his own idea of a home. If here isn't what I think it is, where should I find this home of mine? I don't really understand why chinese value their roots this much. I do not comprehend why would someone want to do that when it's the very same root which is hurting the person. The roots may not even have to bear thorns. The presence of such roots is enough to penetrate like a jellyfish's tentacles, injecting agonizing venom to every part of your body. I do, however, know that if this is what's hurting the most, then it must go - at all costs. You may call me selfish, but I have only another 50 (if lucky) years or so to live. If i don't live for myself, I will never get another chance to. Life isn't about doing what others are doing, saying what others are saying. Nor should it be about doing what others are telling you to. Life is about being free, and the ability to listen to yourself. It is really your life. I'm no longer young and tender. I am no longer young and rebellious, although I still would like to think myself as. There are heavier consequences to the things I do but the heaviest among them all, is the consequence of not having lived the way I want to. I do not wish to die with both ankles latched to unfinished businesses.

house.

/gasp

recent finding - DJ Paul T.

How good is this guy?

This will tell.

The Mayfly

I heard the rumbling of unseen clouds in the skies and visualized the collision of space debris. My anticipation of the rain grew with each roar that creates a peculiar but wondrous bass, in tune to what my canned ears are receiving.

A vague silhouette of you took form of late in this mental landscape. I couldn't make out how you look like nor do I know who you exactly are. The one thing I do know is that you've formed like the big bang and is haunting me like a Victorian ghost.

Just who are you?

letter to future self.

age 27: work like 27, think like 25, live like 22.

dear me,

i wish you'd read this when you are 37, 47, 57, 67, 77, perhaps 87, and remind yourself that this is how it should be. 

me

I remember vividly the year I was 12, I had always wondered what kind of music the teenagers of the future will listen to. I had secretly wished for the Backstreet Boys to be an evergreen for all seasons, and I was aware that I'd be gravely saddened if they weren't to know who Michael Jackson was. And here I am turning 27 in July, witnessed a few transitions in the pop music culture, and listening to what they are listening today - only such mixes are hardly noticeable in my iTunes library. 

David Guetta feat Jessie J - Laserlight

Note that I've written David Guetta as the protagonist of this track. With all my due respect for Jessie J and her quite unthinkable diaphragm, I just can't go against my conscience and say that the song had done justice to her gift from God. Lyricist definitely needs to place a dictionary and a novel by Murakami on bedside table. Jessie J needs to find her calling and transforms into a diva, not a pop star (as you can probably see that her face is pretty weird). David Guetta needs to release a mix of this without anyone singing and take me in as his apprentice. But apart from all that was mentioned above, this is quite a listenable track. Only loving it when Guetta kicks in hard.

No longer having to harbor the childhood worry, the pop music industry has unveiled itself before my eyes and transformed into a breeding ground for DJs and Popstars. The marriage of House and Pop is witnessed with the bringing together of the better known turntables and improvised boyband/girlband moves. And being PopHouse, they are quite  a sure-win plot cleverly thought of by producers (I blame Timbaland for the earlier heavily synthesized tracks). Teenagers who are so into idolizing will definitely listen to whatever their Gods are singing/rapping/lip-syncing (trust me, I've been there. I even bought Aaron Carter's album just because he's the younger brother of his brother). The middle-aged (me and those born before the 1990s) demographic will turn to David Guetta, Tiesto, Benny Benassi, Avicii, Steve Aoki because we grew up with Zouk and love ZoukOuts. But on a comforting note, DJs get to earn more now that they get a cut of the profits from the number of songs sold on iTunes - they no longer just spin at clubs. 

So what's going to be in the scene in another ten years' time? I can't wait to find out but please just let me remain this young forever. 

And perhaps you might find a resemblance of the above to this:

-xo

Kickin' harder more than ever in 2012!

I've just realized from circa 2007 up till now, my blog has gotten only 2116 page-views. This is really a remarkable number which calls for some self-reflection especially I have been telling people around me that I'm a social media guru wannabe. We're talking about total effort, not. 

While bumming around at home with Ummairah, we've decided to (or rather, me) Google on each other. Alright, I'll fess it since she's an avid online stalker of mine, that it is I who came up with the thought of stalking her. Found her on multiply.com which there were some really cool and uncool videos of her. Found her on MySpace which exhibits nothing but a damn cool profile pic - the typical emo phase which everyone went through. Found her on blogspot - try finding it if you want to know what she used to do everyday! 

Oh, it's Sunday. Tomorrow is Monday. That makes that a workday. Damn. I have no better words to express how much dread I am facing every workday especially it's with this current employment. I totally love my colleagues, and everyone who I work with but I totally hate how it's so unorganized with minimal system in place. World class etiquette I am talking about - someone took my Apple USB cable (when I was new in the company) and despite me sending out an email, no one replied, let alone returned. Someone sneaks around (still is) like a rat and eats everything in the fridge without the basic courtesy to ask (one day, I'm going to put laxatives in M&M's packaging). People just enjoy clogging the water closets. I have a toilet on my floor, there are three water closets and all of them are clogged. And it's been two darn months, no one came to fix it. My bladder is potentially facing a possible infection. And to whom should I send the bill to if this misfortune was to happen? Human rights are definitely not prominently etched into the legislation here. 

Just when you think things are bad enough here, let me share something very funny with you. 

Someone took someone's breakfast last Friday. Jesus Christ, it was only a pack of beehoon. The poor girl sent out an email asking who did, and no one fessed up. We have a top suspect in mind. And we are guessing (based on CCTV footage) that it's someone managerial. Gasp! You think your workplace sucks, you think again now. I am witnessing a totally wrong code of human behavior on an almost daily basis. If I wasn't brought up by a good pair of folks, wasn't sent to school (wait, the people here at work are learned too!), haven't read horrifying world news, I would most certainly believe that I'm living in some cave off some unknown isolated island. In this rat race here, we have rats - literally!

So, I braced myself and decided to bade farewell. Mainly because I too, received an offer which hasn't much come concreting itself as of now. The fucken shiznits that most Singaporeans believe in, is that your capabilities and abilities are reflected based on what's stamped on your certificate. And this is so exceptionally delusional. Firstly, I have definitely come across graduates who can't speak as eloquently nor write as fluently as some of my mates who are with their diplomas. And I have definitely come across people whom majored in what they were supposed to, only to display nothing but mediocrity in their works. You get the drift here, you ought to. I'm sure there are individuals around you who give weight to your lower jaw.

While this is perhaps not the best way to end a Sunday evening and I should be in bed right now, I ought to seize this opportunity to greet my loyal panel of followers who are still into reading my junk. I missed a Christmas greeting, I missed a New Year's but I am definitely in time for some prosperous greetings! 

GONG HEI FATT CHOI EVERYONE!

But the 10 million Hong Bao Toto Draw is mine for sure, sorry!

XO