Tired.

supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, adj

Have a nice day.

trepidation, n

When I was younger, I told everyone I aspired to be a reader of all good books that were ever written. When I am now, I worry I don't have a big enough bookshelf to contain them.

les feuille mortes

When time pulls us further,

and distance remains the sole connection.

By heart do remember,

that we're under the same sky.

C: "Omg, what happened to you?"

D: "Age."

C: "No, it's not an excuse. How do I look then?"

D: "Fucking hawt." 

/raised a brow

C: "Tell, how do I really look."

D: "Smashing."

C: "What's the agenda?"

D: "We've known each other for very long and we can be totally honest with each other right?" 

C: "Nine years. Yeah."

D: "I had a wet dream about you recently."

Chameleon.

The most prominent trait of mine - possibly - is how I switch from a state of mind to another just with a snap of a finger. I never like to dwell on unhappiness. At the end of the day, we have to ask ourselves what truly matters - the unhappiness or the moments of joy? Got the answer? Now etch it, remember it and focus.

I guess that explains why the tarot card guru said I'm an extremist and an amplified 8. There's never anything in between, there's never grey. It's only black or white. And I live loud.

Life is too short for bad emotions.

I want to travel, see the world, eat, explore new experiences, meet people, establish friendships, do something for the environment and appreciate arts and music. Basically, I just want to be myself. And myself, being a waif wannabe is hoping I have no shackles latched. It'd be a lie to say I don't wish I have a partner I can do these with. I need one who's as optimistic and love life as much as I do.

maybe one day, I'll stop waking up at 5am to cry.

The white rose.

I don't know where I go

But I know I drive alone

Superhero

Looking through my eyes

At the world, can't you see

Every time I see your face

There's a choice to be made

Walking hand in hand

Through the sands of the time

As I peer into the past

Foreign steps are terrorizing

Watching what is now

There's a fork in the path

Of the future of your life

Which road shall you choose?

Choices to be made

Past and present, it's not easy

But my love will let me die

Until your heart resurrects me

*

faith 

is believing that he will eventually come.

Catatonic.

People come and go.

Those who used to matter to you at a certain point of time in your life don't quite mean a thing to you now. Those who used to have the unfathomable ability to send a million thoughts to your head or generate fluttering butterflies in your stomach no longer have the ability to anymore. So it seems. They have all been right all the while. Time is the best remedy for anything. 

And this is a sad thought to behold isn't it?

On the crossroad where two persons might meet and develop mutual attraction in hope for something concrete, paved was hypotheses of hope, faith and belief in something worthwhile that was within easy reach. Something worth waiting for, working towards for. Something worth the time, effort, dedication and pain. But very so often, things don't turn out the way we wanted them to. No matter how much we try to steer the boat, if it doesn't act in accordance with the motion of your hands, count yourself lucky it even budged. 

It's in the human blood that we romanticize the person we wish to be romantically involved with. We dream without a basis, we fantasize without grounds (and without limits), we would like to believe we live alongside Shakespeare and speak romance. 

There are many a few people who you don't wish to let go. And there are so many who you know are harmful to your well-being but find them hard to shake off. The bad memories that come together with these people haunt you the way a horror flick does and yet package themselves in pretty blue boxes topped with a fancy ribbon. But the uproar is, the point is, you find yourself running back to these people only to be dealt with the same hurt, offense, time and time again. And so it seems they really did mention people do deserve second chances and you have been trying to be magnanimous. But how does one handle those who never bother to reflect upon their own moral conduct? Especially when you've been facing one who you are sure is capable of bringing everyone around down in order to portray him/herself in a better light?

I spent my weekend being very still and quiet, letting thoughts race through my mind. I tried to undo certain events but I have come to terms that Hogwarts is never going to send me a letter. I paced two steps backwards and tried to salvage the current predicament that I think I am facing. I'm at an absolute loss for words and next action steps. Then before I knew it, I relapsed into this queer and quiet me, and start to think and feel again. 

Hello Mister. Please to meet ya.

Upon a field of flowers, 

you hummed my favourite tune.

I said, "I'm yours." 

I need to know your face.

Inadequacy

Cupido.

Let's face it. There are cheaters in the world. And just because you don't cheat now, it doesn't mean you won't in the future. Just because (so it seems) your partner is very much in love with you now, it doesn't mean he/she will remain unwavering for-fucking-ever. Well, the reason which triggered the birth of this post is that I stumbled upon this poor girl's tweet that (I am quite positive) was directed at me. For many of my readers (very little actually), you guys would most probably know by now, that I have unknowingly become a third party to a two year long relationship. And yes, they broke up.

To clear things up a little, I am not with the guy. The moment I found out that he's been having a relationship on the sideline, I broke up with him. Of course, being the usual drama queen I am and with much encouragement from the girlfriends, I gave him hell. And I bet everyone would agree that it's the kindest thing I could give him sans a Lionel Messi kick in his balls. 

Back to the tweet. I could have been a tad too sensitive and mistaken her tweet for one that was directed at me but it actually reads:

Fuck you and fuck her too! #fuckinghatecheaters

First and foremost, I am really not surprised that she wants to fuck me (whether physically or verbally). I could really muster the tiniest bit of empathy I have for her and understand why she hates me - why she even hates me. Because it's the very same thing which kept her to him for two fucking years that's blinding her of all the fucking wrongs he has done to her. When time washes everything away, she'd thank me for showing her what kind of arsehole he is. And she'd be grateful she doesn't have to witness the gruesome sight of his dog chewing on his nuts one night when he's asleep. I told y'all, I'm a witch.

I'm not mad. I really am not. I am just lost in a state of puzzlement because I thought I was a victim too. But fuck it. I honestly don't feel anything towards this stint and I do realised he's way out of my league and he should even thank me for having given him this chance. And Mr. Hugemember, if you ever bump into me on the streets, please do not attempt to call out my name and spare me the trouble of giving you a rather cold look thrown over a very cold shoulder. Don't call me, don't text me. Don't write to me, don't send it via pigeon. I'll shoot it.

Happy Valentine's Day all. I hope those who got your heart broken get it pieced right back come a new morrow. And piece it back yourself. Your fucking self. 

Just T & C.

So... This may turn out to be an ordinary Wednesday just like any other but I almost burst into maniacal laughter when Tracy decided to forward me an email that she received at work; 




From:To (MCIL)
To: xxxx.xx@me.com
Date: February 06, 2013 3:30:16 PM
Subject: RE: The BHB Sales Pitch of a "Model" + Blogger and a Great Sample on How to Overcome it

Dear XXX,

Greetings to you.

Im Zy, a Singapore Model + Blogger at
http://zongyi.blogspot.com/


Offering you Marketing Opportunities at my blog!
1. Display of your company's logo/banner:
at the side of my Blog
Direct link to your website
Visible to readers when they enter my blog!
Rate: SGD $5/day


2. My Review on your products/services:
*Feel free to let me try your products or services*
In other words, i'll blog for your products and services,
take professional photos with your products to show that I am promoting your products,
An Example of the quality of professional photos:
http://zongyi.blogspot.sg/2012/09/love-more.html
and give my enthusiastic review.
*Rates: SGD $250 per blog post*

Past examples:
1. http://zongyi.blogspot.sg/2013/01/face-mask-bliss.html?m=1
2. http://zongyi.blogspot.sg/p/past-sponsorsadverts.html?m=1
3. http://zongyi.blogspot.sg/2012/10/get-sexy-now-rawh.html


Feel free to email me for any enquiries at xxx@hotmail.com.

Thank you very much.

_________________________________________________________________________________

C’s very candid reply on behalf of To:

Dear ZY, greetings to you too. thank you for initiating contact.
I'm the marketing executive handling all social media related platforms. I just found out that I'm pregnant and also, I'm not gonna get a promotion this year.
I have been to your blog and seen your photos there. Unfortunately, my computer crashed the moment your photos start to load and sadly, you must have missed a hit to your site visits due to this.
I currently moonlight, with great expertise in Photoshop and I could help edit your photos at a friendly rate of 4 bucks a photo. Because I'm pregnant now and I need the money, I could give you a ten percent off
Please feel free to let me try my professional Photoshop skills on your photos too
Thank you

me: I'm turning 28 this year. but I don't think I behave my age. I think I need to age.
m: so what do you think you should do?
me: I don't know. school's out now. I need to find something to do. maybe I should go back to gaming again.
m: and you were saying a while ago about behaving your age...

Sparky, My Love.

I hope you've lived a life, fulfilled and joyful.

You've been a fighter - real strong after Brownie left us.

Now it's time to go be reunited with Brownie.

Because when God decided to take you (both) away, he knows you'll be happier in a better place.

Mummy loves you.

Sparky

July 2006 - 7th January 2013

Resolute, 2013.

1. Be a nice person. (note I didn't use the word 'nicer')
2. Cultivate patience.
3. Be happy working.
4. Get in shape.
5. Read the 19 unread books sitting on the shelf. And stop buying books.
6. Be a nice person.
7. Be a nice person.
8. Be a nice person and understand that God is not always fair.
9. Be a nice person and understand that I should stay away from intellectually handicapped people (just in case I blow my top at them.)
10. Be a nice person and be nice to myself and Madelia.

the L word.

Insides are churning which warrants the need to post.

The Diary of truths is lying around with no intention of mine to update. The drama has died down a little. I've just bathed Sparky. This morning I sent Madelia a text which got me thinking what the fug is wrong with me:

"Everything is in a wreck. Sparky is dirty. I haven't studied for my test next week. Two group assignments due soon. Work standstill. Salary keeps getting docked."

Jesus.

Is this who you've known me to be? I've staggered one too many times this year. I've managed to screw up everything which used to matter and everyone who matters to me - I have lost my footing.

And in this not so perfect world to whom shalt I seek solace from now? Madelia? The closest at heart who is also battered and worn right now. I can muster that bit of strength that's left in me to see her through these dark times but does she have the willpower to do the same for me? I doubt so. After all, it was I, my comeback, that brought forth a series of tidal waves to this once peaceful realm of hers. I was the antagonist from her previous dramatic romantic stint, I still am the antagonist of her current.

So we decided to take a break from the L word (pun intended).

Speaking of the L word, I tried to recall how Tina forgave Bette after she found out that the latter cheated on her. As we've always understood, I'm Bette, she's Tina but I've never cheated on her. And according to Wikipedia (2012), Bette is supposedly to be the one true love of Tina!

Time to work on presentation and mug and stop fretting over Helena Peabody's existence.

P.S ultimately, Tina went back to Bette, didn't she?

And for you Madelia, won't you listen to this song for a bit?

Achilles' Heel

I find myself falling into a bottomless pit in total darkness. I couldn't see my arms nor feet. There is no tinge of light and the only thing I could feel is that I'm falling into a state of nothingness that stretches miles and miles on - perhaps there isn't even an end to it. My state of mind hasn't been kind towards me these days. That explains the frequent entries here. If there's a scarcity of posts here, you know my insides are intact and functioning properly. 

I tried to be still but my soul cries unrest. And with a civil war happening all within, I find myself having to cope with tidal cognitive waves, a growling stomach, two smoked lungs and a pair of droopy eyes. Nothing seems to move. This unstoppable train has run out of steam. 

"I need to dress up, doll up, go out, to a bar or something, blend into the ambience and the dark, have one or two cocktails, watch people as I think. That way, in the dark, maybe I could see some light. Perhaps not as quite the light which one wishes to find but I'll settle for now."

Cissy took out her gloves as she walked through the cherrywood door. She was wearing a black dress and her favourite Ferragamos. It was autumn, the air reeked of withered flowers and dried leaves. 

"I've just been to the Irish bar down that street, at the corner after you took a left turn. As I sat by one of the tables towards the end of the bar, I saw Madelia and Courtesan Achilles walking in and taking their seats at a small round table adjacent the stage. Taking the stage was a soprano singing sorrow to all the broken-hearteds. Seated side by side with no obvious sign of affection, Madelia and Courtesan Achilles didn't notice me at all. They looked as if they were in a world which belongs to the both of them. And I was the onlooker, watching from afar. They were laughing and I saw Madelia mouthed 'Cissy'. Courtesan Achilles threw her head back and laughed with enthusiasm. Madelia continued mentioning 'Cissy' for a while before the soprano let out an A5." 

Having prepared herself a lowball of whiskey, Cissy then sat down in her favourite red couch that's the center-piece of the hall. She took a sip and began to weep.

"It pains me to know that I've been made a joke. But what can I do? I love her." 

Paradise

There's a reason why the old always warn us against starting what we can't finish. Why we don't normally listen is because there's a bone in us that tells us we could. A clean break was never an easy feat when emotions and memories are in the court. Not to mention, efforts in trying to make it work, initially.

Five months ago, I ended something with feelings. Being tricky little things they've always been, and having ended something with them being around, they are back to haunt me the way restless ghouls would. Unearthed, roaming wild and beyond subdual.

"It is probably a miracle to me. I have been telling you that I would try my best to work it out for us. You ought to know you're special in this sense because it's beyond my comprehension - thus, I said, a miracle. So why didn't you try to work it out with me with shared efforts and not make me feel I've been the one trying? Why haven't you been able to see things in the long run? It was never meant to be easy and I was well aware before I took the plunge. I was ready to and I did. I thought you'll see what I see, feel what I feel. But you didn't and so I had to leave. Because I'm moving fast like an unstoppable train and I saw you as a passing scenery." 

I left Madelia the way I would to a blooming wild flower in the meadows because its sheer pure delight was something I couldn't take with for the fear of ruining its beauty. And five months later... 

Madelia came with a vengeance. She slipped into my world again when I was down and out. She stood by and made me feel that me, this unstoppable train, might have the ability again to take this blooming flower with me. I thought and I tried to execute. Madelia hadn't been honest; she has someone else. I was merely an object to fill up the void I left five months ago - I had become the receiving end of a sharpened blade which I had initially delivered and a classic example of bad karma. A town hall gathering was held with people who could help to see through things. And the tales I received were all the same, consistent throughout and out. The notion was clear to the eyes that manipulation of both parties was in play. Was it a case of confusion on Madelia's end or was it cowardice? 

A wild flower which I'd always have a soft spot for had dealt me another blow of malice after the first I received from Westminster a good four weeks ago. The wild flower was in her own league - possessing a tiara which I've bestowed. I told this wild flower that only in her presence that I find solace. And this solace became an uproar shortly. Now, what good are memories for I've never done unjust to Madelia and if I had remembered, done more for her than I've ever? 

*

Life goes on, 

it gets so heavy 
The wheel breaks the butterfly 
Every tear, a waterfall 
In the night, the stormy night, she'll close her eyes 
In the night, the stormy night, away she'd fly 

Soul Queen.

Fields of Gold

Getting back on feet after a fall was never easy. Well, this depends greatly on how big a fall you've had. No one ever had a good way to categorise a fall. Or should I say, it's subjective. However, if you do feel me, feel me saying that the intensity of anything is never meant to be measured by time. Mom was worried, so I see. And she's been rendering support the way she has never really done in the past.

As a result, the other living organism who suffers apart from myself is Sparky. I went to her today and was astonished to see her sleeping on her own faeces. Hay was everywhere, food pellets too. She looks like she belongs in the slums. I feel guilty but things would have been better if Brownie was still around, I am sure. Just like me, we are both entrapped in a predicament that's forcefully inflicted upon by someone else. Hers being me, mine being someone of certain significance. The difference here is that I am the only one who can get her out of this mess and I am the only one who can get myself out of this mess. What a tricky situation.

Old English turns me on. I chanced upon a note from a stranger who uses words such as beauteous and desiderata; I raised a brow. Impressed, I knew I had to reply. English, English, English! Never would I have thought I'll be this influenced by Dickens. This set me on a mental frenzy, thinking about things I used to very much ponder on five years ago.

Five years ago, I was living the expired teenage dream of being a waif. I've walked Ann Siang Road alone many times, with a notebook in hand and scribbled anything which came to mind. Poems, proses, notes and pompous words which I believe will one day come of use knowing I'm so melodramatic and such a sucker for riddles and gnomics. Five years ago, I was cold with walls as high as skies fenced around myself. I was the core and no one mattered. Gradually, the layers began to shed.

Time is the best solution to any problem. After all, it was Time which got me away from Bennett. We tried chasing Time but its innumerable horsepower always beats us to it. We are all its slaves and yet at the same time, it's the only thing which can save us from ourselves. Time sheds clarity and with time, truth unveils.

Without truth, we're all savages.

"So you may ask, what's the truth here Westminster? Well, I would say, the truth being I being the most inconsiderate and selfish brute. And it is most unfortunate that you found and dug out a piece of broken bone from the fields of barley I've ploughed for you. Look upon it here. It was gold, grandiosely shining in the beating rays of the evening sun and it was for you. I've worked on the field and ploughed it just for you. And no, it wasn't a field of romantic purple lavender because it'd be impractical to, for I know purple was never your favourite colour. Gold was, you love anything shiny. The broken bone here, having unearthed, tainted the whole picture. You see, it was never meant to be unearthed, I've been trying to keep it away, far from your sight and senses. You found it eventually - an act of God's will if you may say! 

I have dreams to chase. When they materialise or at least, when I've found the first step of stairs which will lead me to them, I'll come to you again. Then, make this a chase that's hard, but not too hard."

"But Westminster, it was never Cissy's wish to have found the broken bone. You call it an act of God if you shalt. And I've forgiven. So why is it impossible for you to stay? Time with its innumerable horsepower will beat us to it. Won't it be a shame if we embark alone now that we're standing together at this crossroad finally and after a five year hiatus? Weren't you wanting this five years ago? Will we grieve upon this loss when we realise we're unforgettable? Who are we to challenge Time? We are not Greek Gods here, we don't wield swords nor do we control the rain. But if you must go, remember me, the nights and days we spent, the moments we created, and if you may, the times we kissed."

Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her.

If you can bounce high, bounce for her too.

Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,

I must have you!"

-Thomas Parke D'Invilliers (Francis Scott Fitzgerald)

Milestone #Leo

It's amazing how time works its way around things. A good one week ago, we promised to re-visit this singer at Rick's, One Rochester. And things right now are pretty fucked up; the predicaments I'm facing are beyond me. Unable to comprehend the gist, reason, and letting 'why' constantly running all over my mind, I broke down when my iPod Classic of 3 years decided to - you guessed it - broke down on me.

Tried to reset, went to iPod/support and racked my brains out sans the opening up of it, I decided to give up and went out to get myself a iPod Nano. From 80GB to 16GB, from black to white (because they ran out of black), songs remained at a count of 2222 and everything else is still pretty much the same. Well, there's Nike fitness pre-installed in it and this comes in handy when I start to run again very soon. As if the current 'me' now is not intimidating enough, I decided to crown myself a true blue Greek Goddess in a matter of months (narcissism is my middle name, you don't know this?). God knows why I lost all motivation to get back in shape after the sixty laps I swam a few weeks ago but I shall dedicate my focus into becoming beyond reach. 

You can't kill me if this is what you want. What gravitas of your words they bear? 

Metaphorically speaking, the break down of my beloved iPod Classic shed some light into the clarity of things that are taking place now. 3 years, three months, whatever the span of time, if it's beyond repair, it's beyond it. Let's replace it with a younger option then. You guessed it. 

Kingdom come

"The world's mine for the taking, make me king."

It wasn't easy to see through the last weekend - the preparation of my dearest, Tracy's wedding wasn't an easy feat. Talk about being a hundred percent involved, I was barely 70 and I felt like a nice piece of wrecked art.

Nonetheless, I am glad I did. For all I haven't done (if any) for her all these years, I hope I've redeemed myself with the dedication I had put into just for her - just her. The funny thing about having a friend whose birthday is just two days later than yours, the idiosyncrasies we possess are rather identical. And I've only noticed over the weekend. At 5 am, we both jumped out of bed in the same manner to our alarms which went off at the same time and the pillows we slept on were positioned the same. Picture evidence here:

Leo girls sleep on down pillows like lionesses resting on rocks.

So finally, she married and she had the cheek to tell me, she's dropped out of the Spinster Club. Just in case I haven't mentioned before (I'm pretty sure I have never), Spinster Club is an unofficial club made up of three girls - one down now, two left in the club now. 

Cartman feeling me, totally.

I hate Halloween this year. Being the all-fun-and-no-work me, I totally detest the fact that no one at work dressed up. I know we publish books but can't publishers be fun?! Halloween last year was like this:

Not the ghouls which were scary but how we managed to all squeeze into that pathetic lift was.

I NEED A HOLIDAY! 

And this is what I'm looking at:

Rawa Island, Malaysia.

Before it gets commercialised, I'm going to make my way there! Who the hell on earth can resist sipping Malibu under the palm trees, feeling the breeze in your hair, warm rays of sun beating down on your skin, and turquoise water? You're so mine. I need to make sure I make my way there come 2013.

School has started again after a good five weeks hiatus. I have lost all the drive and motivation to attend classes and I have already missed two. I need something waiting for me at Robertson Quay as a bait so that I will duly make my way there after work - perhaps Wrenna Wong since she's been hanging out there very often. 

[Picture of Wrenna Wong here taken down because it potentially has the ability to hinder her political career. Really]

*

Chrissy'2012. 

xo

circa 2012, 22.10.

He said,

It pained him that I bumped my head against the low ceiling.

He wants to be my best friend.

He wants this to work.

He has grown more fond of me.

And he loves me.

[edit]GO FUCK YOURSELF. 

You always want what you can't have.

Me included.

it will rain.

probably the only from Mars that I listen to. 

While it lasts.

I took time off from studying - my exams are due tomorrow. Went to pack my mini library in my room and counted the number of books on backlog - 19 friggin books. I give an average of 500 pages for each book and this would amount to 9500 pages to finish. I used to be able to finish a 800 page book in three days. Using this quite backdated norm, I would take around 36 days to finish the 19 books. Good Lord.

Have you heard of Marian Keyes? She's an Irish novelist and a non-fiction writer whose works consist the likes of "Lucy Sullivan is getting married", "Angels" and "The other side of the story". No? Try reading some of her works if you happen to be a fan of sarcasm, quick-witted dialogues and dark humour. Well if you don't have the ability to comprehend the meaning behind each of what she wrote, I'm sure you'll still giggle to some parts, perhaps just not as much.

Titled: New Beginning 2012 (13th March 2012)

Reading past entries never fails to either make you blush, shame you or perhaps plant that little hint of regret in your cognition/the chamber of emotions.

Titled 'New Beginning' for evident reasons, I'll list what calls for this title in point forms and then elaborate: 

1. Broke up with Lord Sief 
2. Got into my first gay relationship with Mademoiselle Madelia
3. Left the bunch of clowns at Ribbons 
4. Harbour sexual/romantic thoughts for Peasant Westminster 
5. Regretting having left Lord Sief

1. First and foremost, Lord Sief and I were already having problems which both of us had been choosing to be oblivious to. Indisputably, the both of us were soul mates to each other, and still are. However faithful we both tried to be to each other, it won't work out. .  Please don't be mistaken. My love for Lord Sief is unfathomable and unmeasurable. Even until now, I can look at myself in the mirror, wide-eyed and honestly spilling that I love him. If I'm ever gonna get married, Lord Sief will be my first choice, even there wasn't any sex. Okay, maybe Merchant Bentley. Then Lord Sief.

Dating someone of the same sex may be new, fresh and very interesting. But being in a relationship with one of the same sex is not. It's extremely hard to sustain a gay relationship especially when I feel I'm more inclined towards testosterones. And there's no bit of male's decisiveness, strength and firmness (not the hard-on) in Mademoiselle Madelia. She's a terrific person and she will make a good girl (hot, sexy, clever and all). She just can't be my girl. Maybe now I don't even want a girl. 

Who on earth preaches about herself clearly knowing what she wants, and making decisions with much consideration and if possible, with clairvoyance? Me, yours sincerely, fucking me.

I'll never learn, won't I?

I can feel my feelings seeping away like fine sands through the little intervening gaps of the palm. And I don't know what to do. Don't wish to hurt her, it will kill me.

3. Left Ribbons. Full-stop forever. If there's ever a slight tinge of remorse, I regret not sending a hate mail out to everyone on my last day. Bye clowns. I hope PETA decides to call a raid on you one day and press charges against you for keeping so many exotic pets (namely pigs, two-headed snakes and hyenas) Sarcasm intended; not to be taken in a tongue-in-cheek manner. 

4. Peasant Westminster. Funny how fate works around people. Let's see, we had a one-off thing in 2007. It's 2012 now. Five years and he's still hung up on me. I propose a toast to him for honouring the cliche 'you want what you can't have'. This man has got patience and I must say, the patience is slowly paying off. If he makes swift, smooth moves of a ninja's now on me, I'd be so darted to the wall with a big heart emblazoned across. 

Maybe God is trying to tell me something. I obviously have my past (Lord Sief), present (Mademoiselle Madelia) and future (Peasant Westminster??? Really?!) presented to me on life's cake stand right now. And it's a cake stand because all of them have their own distinctive flavours and sweetness! I'll elaborate. 

I've said it, Lord Sief is my soul mate - we talk about everything and to be honest, though sex plays a prevalent problem for the both of us, yet again, it does also prove to be really insignificant because we are so spiritually connected.

Albeit giving me lots of pain in the head, Mademoiselle Madelia is awesome. . Why can't Merchant Bentley 2, Merchant Bentley 3 and Merchant Bentley 4 readily walk into my life after Merchant Bentley 1? I cannot get enough of this man and I swear I still desire to have a piece of this cake.

Peasant Westminster. Sometimes I find those sexual/romantic thoughts vanish fast leaving no trace behind except for bile at the back of my throat. This is so confusing, especially when the feelings which were brought forth repeatedly were antipodes.  

5. I regret having left Lord Sief. If I hadn't I may well be on a plane to the Kiwi Kingdom now and Mademoiselle Madelia won't be the way she is today and I won't be this confused over my impression (note, I didn't use 'feelings') of Peasant Westminster. 

Forever.

This needs more views! C'mon, learn how to appreciate good music. 

Especially when the music video has got cool girls with their electric guitars, riding bikes, wearing sports jacket and sneakers! 

*

I'm fab.
You're not.

感情没有对手戏，我跟自己下棋。

*

是你忽略我不过要人陪。