Yesterday is here.

I try to breathe the toxic out, inhaling the better ones, to keep myself alive and better. Every single morning, a moment for spacing out is inevitable; it's become habitual. I tried walking little steps, moving a bit further from what I don't wish to be, the person in the mirror looks horrible.

I have thousands of thoughts, questions and fantasies. I wonder what suggested the eventuality/birth of my cognitive landscape now. I see my life put on an abrupt halt, yet I know I am moving each single day. Everything which has once befallen on me remains mysteries which I cannot unfold and given patience enough, the time lapses did not even reveal the slightest clues. I do not understand most of the gists. I am blinded as for now. I can't see anything nor feel something. Would the light shine brightly for me again if I don't bother to seek at all? I have no idea.

I sleep beside the ghost of me every morning, wake up at noon, hating the sun but disliking the night. There's no point getting drunk, because a clear head is much needed to feel the pain anticipated within my realm that I have inflicted upon myself intentionally. I dropped smoking in order to inhale the better, and this is a hoax for myself, from myself.