My Girlfriend & I.

The girl who wanted to play with mimosa today got herself caught in this massive downpour of rain and she had to reorganise her time. Time is so very important to her now that she has decided to whizz back from Pluto and get herself a day job on Earth. Handling earthlings is a chore. She anticipates everything they should say, and makes comments two leaps or even three even before their strings of thoughts get logistically organised. She wonders why does each single one of us has to say/do things to attempt to bring others down in order to lift ourselves up to this level we thought we ought to feel triumphant and be proud of. Would the earth orbits better this way? If everyone was to be rid of their falsehoods and walk alongside with their innate simplicity basis, I wonder what kind of paradise would we see.

On the last day of my breath, most probably I would look back and think about those I have done wrong, I have failed, and those I have hurt and grieve. It isn't really a bad thing to be classified as 'emo' you know. People who chose not to be, or think they are not, just haven't got the chance for an epiphany to strike upon them like a big lucky star. The star would weigh on your body trying to kill you. For as long as you remain being weighed down by it, you should make full use of the time trying and learning more about everything, the gists, the evolutions. And be quiet, be silent because the winds of rumours created by your own mind are what you ought to listen. Listen and be in sync with them. Control them. Understand that no one would be able to fathom the way you feel not even through a thousandfold of attempts to converse. Because you, yourself are the world, solitude and very much alone than you think you are.

I had a sleep for death. But my phone rang expectedly and I was vacuumed back into reality and it was the way I have planned it to be the night before. The rain splattered all down and too sudden when I was walking to the library. I was upset that I am vulnerable to you still. I forgive you for using me, but I cannot forgive myself for letting you. I don't have a clue how much I am worth whenever she sneaks back in. I may have idealised you. Perhaps I chose to. Time has already altered the love I have for B et al. into another kind. Would I soon start to chase after it, or would I choose to remain rooted and unchanged and watch it works its acceleration away? If I were to be euphemistic quoting how great it would be if I can turn back time, I would say, I would choose not to have our paths crossed. Because it's a lonely road ahead for now, and it's quieter and darker than before.