A secret I can't keep from myself.

I feel like shit. I had a full meal at 2230 hours. I should just die.

It's surprising to know that there's a significant drop in the thoughts of AT, the little prince whom I think I would never wish to forget. Then, it's awestruck to be realizing a new presence - a compelled eclipse of something new into a void that big. 

Might be my own first flush since nothing's even done nor put across yet. 

Cupid was in disguise and had me once again when most probably I know how opposite the poles we are each standing on respectively. I do not fathom his thoughts at times and he makes me feel that I am not even the least confident of my own. When I do not register his points, I feel intrigued enough to probe if he invites. I have my door opened only to Plutorians. Never had I thought that an Earthling is interesting enough for a proud person like me to even want to pursue and study. He is as good as a myth behind the walls of the ancient China when I was walking through old Shakespeare's alleys. 

Albeit, I have utterly lost the hopeful part of me. There's nothing I would do besides watching things unfold themselves and money/merry-making over my daily dosages of caffeine. 

Love can bend and breathe alone
Until the end it finds you a home

Meanwhile,

let's walk around, be free and roam.

Hello!

Cute eh?

I bought myself another wallet.

When my current Comme des Garcons is barely one year old, I got him a girlfriend.

You won't wanna know how cheap it is after this special discount.

-

Hey! Look at Bff's gf's photography skills! Fit enough to be an album cover! Love that melancholic look on his face. Look how cool he is! But he's actually the donkey who sang 无辜 in the clip far far below. /giggles Just love this pic luh! So green!

The truth is hard to swallow.

When the chinese fortune tellers on the telly were saying how bad this year is going to be for those born in the year of Ox, I didn't choose to buy it. But apparently, just one day into this new year, I started giving credit to those tellers for the vile yet honorable truth they had managed to see in their crystal balls.

First misfortune.

I spoiled my kate spade wedges. As in, the sole of the left one (leather) was Gone! Like wth? I walked like less than 10 minutes in em and it's gone! And the right one was dangling halfway with partial of it still attached to the rattan part of the wedge. So I was so dissed, I pulled the whole thing out and threw it away. 

After at night, I went Arena/Boiler with the girls. Met Ivan at Boiler whom I've lost contact with for seven years (as told by him) and like wth? I almost didn't manage to recall who he is, but those chicken essence I've had in the past few years have served their purposes o'right. So yeah. And then came a shock,

 

!

I hardly wear necklaces. But why does this have to happen to Skinny da Bone? After I've found him at some random shop at Far East, paid SGD14.90 for him, adore him, and lost one of his legs? And I cannot go back to the same shop to get another one, because I remembered asking for a new piece and the sale rep said it's the last. /bawls Until I get another one, I can only wear Skinny this way and tell everyone how he had died in an accident which took away his right leg.

If anyone sees this, purchase it on my behalf ya? I can pay you more! 

Like double?

The Girls @ Arena. 

So pretty pretty.

And I,

so ugly ugly.

This is my fave pic of the night, because it's not showing my face.

And my dear relatives, PLEASE QUIT SAYING I'VE LOST WEIGHT!

The weighing scale always slaps you with the harsh reality. 

The truth is that, I have put on ALOT of weight!

My Heaven now is a Rainbow.

Killer heels.

I bought a pair of stilettos yesterday at Steve Madden. It was 4.5 inches, in black and had silver studs all over this ankle strap which you can tie a few rounds. And it somehow reminded me of the D&G one which I have missed the chance to purchase 4 months ago. But of course the D&G one was looking way hotter because the studs on it were pointed and had this ensconced message that they were ready to kick some asses. After 15 minutes of wearing the Steve Madden's, I almost felt as if there were micro mini aliens on my feet fighting a war. There was a cutting sensation at the back of my ankle and when I checked on it, my 5 cent size lump of skin was gone. Killer heels. 

So I went back to Takashimaya and asked for a smaller size, thinking that the reason why it was peeling the skin off my left ankle could be the fact that I am a size 6 and them - a pair of size 7. They didn't have a smaller size. But the sales rep was professional. He offered me a change even when I had purchased the stilettos at a discounted price (Now I feel ashamed of myself). I settled for a pair of red Nine West and the value of the Steve Madden was higher. I didn't want to have the balance which they owed me. They didn't let me go and suggested to issue me a credit voucher. And I felt conscience-stricken. I was moved by their level of professionalism when there are so many 'professionals' out there who couldn't even task competently. And that of course, includes me. -.-

No more 4.5" for me. 

Just another three more days to the Lunar New Year. And the only reason why I am looking forward to it is because I can finally wear my new stuffs and sleep on my colorful new sheets. I haven't cleared my wardrobe. There are tons of clothes to be given away to the salvation army. I'm planning on taking up Mass Comm at MDIS. But Nic thought I should just scheme this whole shit and just write in to a few magazines. When my bonus is here, I will see how things should flow from then. 

Okay. I'm off to watch Bleach! 

If there is anything which could be preventing my emotions from showing, it'd be my ego.

Anyone who has been following my blog would have known by now who Nichol is. Though distance has successfully intervened us, his traces deep inside are significantly visible. And he's saying "till then" for a good three years - to of course, pursue a better piece of sky. If there's anyone whom one should look up to, it'd be him doubtlessly. 

No enough thanks could better express the gratitude I feel towards you. You are a strength and an epiphany. And I thank the One above for bringing me this friendship. You deserve every good which should befall on you. And I cannot wait to see you at your wedding; when you are at all smiles and bliss. 

Be warm,

Be still,

Be safe.

-

The reason why I shun chinese songs is because they tend to be more emotional as compared to the english ones. When I do listen, it rages the sleeping waves. I bawled last night to the pain which was neatly packed away. So long I have been hiding away, so scarred still I am. The freedom of the heart is something I should never surrender. I cannot remember when was it I felt at ease, neither can I forget the feeling. I killed Chrissy but her ghost has always been around. When it haunts me from time to time, I fall and I break. I gave someone my last armour yet he chose to stab right through the remaining piece of fragment I was. I scattered and leapt to another planet to start afresh. Believing that every facade is me but totally clueless on my true identity. 

If I am never this way, and I had shown you the real thing, would you have stayed? Or would you run because the truth weighs heavier?

-

A lil something I did in 2007 and think I fancy it.

A trial; uncalled for; designed by Life.

Two cracked lovers on each's grey; one remained guarded; one fighting to penetrate.

She's frail without him; her faith swayed with rumoured wind.

She fights on still; day seventh's beaten.

The light she shines fickled; she burns ferociously more.

Mortal love is flawed; she's with epiphany.

Time is an endless tool; make him enemy not.

His waves churn; he lost his way; he sees no light; he thinks he's done for.

An ethereal smile; she gives.

You bowed in the name of Life; your own puppet.

Easy on yourself; Nothing! you'd achieve.

The hands painlessly tick; perishable is time.

The past is all but mere memories dried.

O' why M'Lord; leave it all behind.

For now I take my leave; left traces of me.

Know that it exists.

Hotel 626.

G'day to everyone! Haha! My cowardice level can really amuse me most of the times! I heard about 'Hotel 626' from Glenn the Mangosteen (black on the outside, white inside) and decided to go try the game out. It's a flash game apparently used as a marketing gimmick by Doritos - and I see no link in corn chips and a scariest game ever (on the web).

So I decided to adjust my computer time to 6pm and call bluff the webbie (you can only play the game from 6pm to 6am). I barely started, and this is what my monitor looks like - 

Haha! A goth chick fearing ghosts! 

-

I didn't call my recent find necessary. Sad to say, you are still mysteriously lurking in my circle of everyday. So you know Glenn the mangosteen. And perhaps I shouldn't have let him browsed through my iPod that fateful day, after which he blurted out in pure sheer excitement, "So this is Aloysius?!" /sighs wtf? Can the world be any smaller? 

The updates I heard from him about you rings echoes which are very identically nostalgic. Ticking hands don't really work their way around some special individuals, I believe. And it was to my sheer amazement when I read her blog - "Faith" seems to be a very overused word. And you amuse me most of the times, in the most entertaining manner. It's finally nice to watch you play the world, after I've stepped out of your malicious circle. =)

Till then, I know we will meet again.

If I ever get married, I would be wearing these.

Vivenne Westwood S/S'09.

Brilliant beauteous works or art, aren't they?

Night of the living homeless.

We know the latest hit in the gaming scene in Singapore recently.

It's...

Nice. 

I am so going to camp at some Lan just to kick some zombies' balls.

But one question.

Do zombies really have so much blood?

Vintage Day.

Okay. Now there's a problem. The pair of Jessica Simpson wedges might not be mine afterall, now that the order is fucked. 

Vintage day started last night when I was surfing my usual dose of those fashionistas' blogs. I decided to give life back to some of the stuffs which I haven't been wearing or I've stopped wearing totally. So I found a denim jacket which looks slightly worn out and decided to pair it off with a short green checkered shorts with a metal studded belt, knowing that I won't have to go through some walk-through metal detectors (the alarm went off when I was trying to get through one at the Petronas Towers). And I matched the whole outfit with a high cut red converse with my very vintage Gucci sling. 

Antiquated Gucci and the things I won't leave house w/o.

No pictures because I woke up so bloody late this morning for work. But hecks, I decided to go al natural and applied only foundation, blusher, eyeliner and some white eye shadow around the eyes. And Desmonia asked whether I am not wearing any makeup. Ugh. 

Des: "It's not bad, but I can't think of a word to describe how you look."

Me: "You mean, I look different?"

Des: "Did you just come up with this new look in collaboration with the quit smoking campaign?"

Me: "Decent?"

Des: "Nah. Hey you look like you're going to the forest, hunter."

I was speechless.

[edit]

2:58am

A lousy attempt to draw a hippo.

One Brazen Shoe Hussy.

Alrighty, having slept at daybreak and waking up at 3pm has alienated me from the entire world. Now I am at a loss on what to do. Was shopping online at La Senza and found out that their shipping costs 40 moolah and I was like wtf? It's more expensive than Speed Post service of my watch to Japan. Speaking of which, I haven't seen my watch for two weeks. And there's no news from Japan side. God. 

CNY is just so around the corner. I can't wait to put those cute round pineapple tarts into my mouth. And wear my new Kate Spade wedges! Oh holy, speaking of which, I purchased a pair of Jessica Simpson sandals online just last night when I told my sister that I won't spend anymore, except for some new lingerie. I feel like a sinner, every single day.

I was so bored last night, I googled on "World's Fattest" and thoroughly convinced myself to die an instant death if I were to get so amazingly obese. Which is not going to happen most probably, otherwise I won't be able to fit in those lovely heels/boots. And people will start throwing bread and stones at me. 

I cut my hair four inches shorter and it's alot more thinner than before. Which obviously is not a good thing because I know I look better in big hair. /bawls at my figure of whale and haggard hairdo

Tell me I'm a Brazilian in actual fact.

Alo!

Marked the last 24 hours of '08.

I think it sucks to be anticipating another year older. 

All the time, we see people making constancy plans for every single passing year without fail. But how often do they even keep up to these resolutions? For e.g, yours sincerely. I didn't manage to fulfill anything under my list. The outcomes of 'Quit smoking' and 'Lose weight' turned out badly because the opposites of both happened. 

Everyone has been putting on weight around me, except for Wenny, I am sure. Bang says it must be the weather. And hecks? I am down with a severe cold. My mucus and tears oozed out uncontrollably last night and I knew I was going to go down. When I hit my bed, if it's hard, I was so sure it'd have rang a loud thud. What a way to start off 2009 with a blast.

Aights. Instead of the act to resolute, how about a re-assuring one?

Things Chrissy thinks no one can live without (prolly myself):

Love

Lies

Lust

I cannot do without Love. Even when the syllabus irritates me a hell lot now. When I wondered why I adore Twilight when most peepos around me has been telling me how it sucks, I sorta come to this conclusion that I, even in the midst of total negativity, am waiting for the correct bell to ring. Then the gardens would start to bloom, butterflies would flutter their wings, birds would sing,  faith and hope will come by in such a natural fashion. And then it'll irk the shit out of you. Because I definitely will be such a hopeless romantic bitch. Every single sentence I may convey would have his name etched. Haha. 

I lie on an almost daily basis when I want to know the truth. So in order to get what I want, I lie to get my way. But of course, I have a strong uphold of moral teachings. I don't believe in causing intentional hurt upon others. My ego doesn't permit me to do that. Consciously, I am merely protecting myself all the time. That doesn't sound like a wrong thing to do.

And as for the last, what can I say? Everyone who knows me, knows me. If there's a decency pretense I put up everyday, call me wearing the mask of a virginal façade. But always refer to the previous paragraph. These two somewhat link each other up, one way or another.

I doubt I would be watching "Yes Man". Saying "yes" to everything does not necessarily make your life better or win you multi million paying lottery. For e.g, 

Boss: "Can I don't give you your 6 months' bonus?"

You: "Yes."

Boss: "Can I look at your tits?"

You: "Yes."

Boss: "Can I screw you and still don't give you your 6 months' bonus?" 

You: "Yes!"

And so, it's 12am sharp 31st of December 2008 now. Tell me, what would you like to do for the last 24 hours of 2008. =) 

Anselmo's Song.

I had a bad day, a bad control of emotions today. 

This mandarin phrase "丑人多做怪" certainly has its validity. There are stupid people everywhere. If you try to grab these people in a handful, I'm sure it'd come back as a thousandth fold. And I've learned when it comes to dealing with such people, I have to think two steps behind them in order to sashay on the same wavelength with them. So that they could register any ideas and meanings which I am trying to convey. What seriously dissed me off was that, my prerogative to argue was forcefully kept at bay. And I felt like a wimp. I hate the feeling of feeling like one. Seriously, stupid people can make big money yo? I'm surprised. 

Apart from that, if anyone should wish to go into a bitch fit, please make sure you have the looks, or the figure, and of course, a strong command of any language. We all know beautiful people are always pardoned for whatever epilepsy they relapse themselves into. I forgive pretty/hot people easier, as compared to the physically challenged ones. This world is unfair. Like what Butterfly said, people who are clearly unequal, do not deserve equal chances. If you are ugly and fucked up, you WILL be laughed at. /sniggers And you think likewise too, don't deny it. 

Really, she's just 敢你拿，拿不起来.

-

I'm pretty sick of holding on so tightly to my moral teachings. It's after all not very innately me. The idea of a deed in a Ferrari sounds good though. Press play, someone? 

Rainbows & Bones.

Color me colors,

thus,

the streets, rainbows.

Don't you wanna feel my bones? ;)

Good morning to all! I am so impressed with the minimal amount of sleep I need in order to feel recharged! I feel hyped up now, I think I can run a marathon! 

X'mas this year is cool. Spent the night at home with nothing but games, music, and mocha. No alcohol - recuperating liver. Well, compared to last year's being mugged, every year's gonna be better! I was being so lame, I replied texts from everyone who sent me well wishes "Marry Chrisma." Haha. Merry Christmas - Marry Chrisma. Now that rhymes well. Obviously it was a flirt/tease/joke. Everyone knows the idea of a stable relationship irks me now.

I can't wait to go out of Singapore even though Taiwan ain't too much of a thrill for me. I just wanna get out! 

And guys, upcoming fashion trends for '09! Start your first day of 2009, go to the countdown party in this upcoming look! Jewel encrusted dresses/tops are a must-haves! And dresses with fringe. And the color for S/S is well, highlighter yellow. Haha. Please don't attempt to carry this color when your skin is slightly yellowish. Don't shirk the blame when you look like some traffic stop cone. Or the NYC taxi. Does anyone knows any shoes boutique which sells lovely pumps between price ranges from 60 - 120 moolah? 

I have been so indolent to do everything and anything. I am lazy to eat too. I think I am a sloth.

Heh. Picture me hanging onto a tree, all fours.

-

I love the way the my long hair glissaded that night, the way the cool twilight breeze lingered through the little intervening gaps of my fingers. As I outstretched my arms out of the car, I felt I was a great shame. At the age of 23, my capabilities to feel right are ineffectual still. I couldn't tell a legitimate loathe and a wrongful love apart. 

That is, I know you've weaved me a basket of lies. And god damn it, why do I find it hard to let you go still? And that is, I love you. I love you. You are a basket.

So, they say, in order to forget you, I have to get someone better. And I say, most probably, I am cut out to remain single. I have an inordinate fascination with myself. Or most of the times I am fantasizing about having a superior being to love. I have an undying thirst within me to always seek for more and the better, the truly ethereal to my eyes. And I will know it right away after I've found him - like walking on the streets in opposing directions to each other, eyes locked. 

"Excuse me, I think you are the 100% guy whom I've been looking for."

"So, you are the 100% girl," and he smiled.

Murakami is real, I tell you. 

And it was 'you' I see, again.

Riddles.

Anyone? For me.

Yet another tiring day. My eyes are popping goldfishes'. And I think I am having a lil problem with my lower back. It's aching. /sighs Come to think of which, it's been aeons I hit the gym or dance. And darn, I sure need that massage. Kaba Modern's recent performances are making me cry. 

It's a relatively usual day. Then again, something unusual was going through my mind for most of the time in the morning - strangers (yet again). I have a liking towards things I don't know about. I guess it's common. But I know this abyss of curiosity bears malice components - well, soon you'd know what I mean.

Some things said last night which got me thinking, visualising, and smiling.

-"...watching the world collapses in Pachelbel's Canon in D minor."

What a grandeur of animosity!

The skies falling little by little, revealing the obscure world within. Tall building crumpling gently into nothing, debris musked the atmosphere and, there wasn't any chaos. The people finally found peace at heart, at last, they stood still, watched and listened. And once again, just like an epiphany, the world reverted to simplicity again. No more hastened pace, no more millionth face. =)

If you get what I mean...

Stay loved peepo. Imma go cuddle up four pillows now.

P.S Twilight is fairly good. Watch the movie, read the book, and the sequels.

Note to myself:

PLEASE SEND YOUR WATCH TO JAPAN YOU LAZY ASSHEAD!

Today's gathering with Class of 6E '97 turned out to be quite a success! Seeing how everyone has grown comforts me on this whole issue of growing up, or rather, old. =)

And guys, Waraku serves really bad jap food. -.-

Watched "The day the Earth stood still" with SM at vivo. I really fancy the plot! I adore this whole idea of, in order to save the Earth, mankind has to be eliminated. Vivo is a mess I tell ya. Two eejits got lost in Vivo despite having been there for countless times.

Talking and laughing too much can bore me sometimes.

Dinner at Big O with SM and Tracy.

"Baileys Me!" looks good. But it sure ain't.

What's SM emoing about? 

Sing praises to my mobile!

MOS! Come back MOS!

-

girlfriday: without guilt and eyes on my back.   says (4:10 PM):

maybe, just maybe you could type something and show it to his current girlfriend

to let her knw what he's rly like

even if he's true to her, he IS an evil person

and its her bad luck to get someone like aloysius

i bet he kept mum about you and tons of other girls in his past

so she cant see his flaws and disgusting side

girlfriday: without guilt and eyes on my back.   says (4:13 PM):

she doesnt know everything, thats for sure. (:

and that means she's jst with someone who has secrets, and if she knws this, she'd waver and think twice about who her boyfriend is. if she ever knws about his past, that is.

-

So comforting to see these words. I appreciate your gesture to my calls for help when I didn't know how to feel. But I think I will back off. It ain't my problem anymore. Wenny, I toldcha, the only thing that I would be associated with him in the future is that I would be the first one to snap his prick off. 

I'll survive and live, and I am already doing it.

:D 

Happy Post #464458.

Wenny! I am still waiting for you to reply my smses before you go Korea! %#^@#$% You left me waiting in vain... :( 

And what! I am so going to Taiwan next march! Air ticket's booked, now there's the hotel. And the itinerary to be done! I wonder most of the times why Tracy and I are going there. We ain't really the cheena piangs to be exact, but heck luh? She said we should pose as ABCs. Lol. I think it sounds fun. 

Alrights! Photos! 

Come eat us. 

We are products of the cola company, 'zero calorie. great taste.'

Room revamped. The blue polka dots ribbon stands out.

I couldn't find white!

I love my new pink table lamp!

Aww.

A kiss for my next!

Try this. 

It rocks heaven and rainbows.